WFA High School: Freshmen Year
by AshWrites99
Summary: Your favorite WFA Superstars go to High School... This isn't going to be good. (Co written with KirantheRay so blame him if it's bad)
1. Pilot: Battle of the Bands

"**In a timeline far ...far ...very far away ...I mean Super far from ACW Timeline….hell it's not even close to whatever the hell Curse of the Stormmaker is- Er sorry. Let's get to the story…" The narrator speaks**

**ACW Studios presents…..**

**A Jason Sabre and ACW Production….**

**BATTLE OF THE BANDS**

"_Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid" _Said the voice of Smash Mouth lead singer Steve Harwell through a Ulefone X. A large hand reaches over and grabs the phone before shutting off the alarm's ringtone.

"Braxton, wake up! You're going to be late for school." A mature female voice calls. Suddenly a blanket of Satan is seen being thrown in the air as a large man sits up. He swings his legs off his bed and stands up to reveal his full seven foot frame.

"I told you mother, call me Azriel!" He yells as he stands in tighty whities, before grabbing a black leather jacket with spikes on the shoulder pads and black leather pants with studs going down the side. Azriel grabs his Darth Vader towel and steps out of the hallway, before Azriel steps into the hallway. Azriel's baby brother Casey was seen running past him. Azriel catches him by his hair.

"Let go! I have to go to the bathroom." The child said.

"To hell with you. Today is the first day of my rise to dominance over the United States of America and eventually the world. I will shower first." Azriel said

"You can't even conquer a map on Fortnite." Casey said.

"Only because my team is weaksauce and all the other teams are cheaters." Azriel claims.

"Didn't that 'AceOfEverything' guy kill you in three seconds." Casey said, before Azriel threw his ten year old brother into the wall.

"We do not speak of Jason Sabre in this house. Also, stay off fortnite. It is Rated T for Teen." Azriel said, before stepping into the bathroom and looking into the mirrior. "Today is going to be the beginning of the rest of my life. The start of High School. I will rule the school!"

Azriel then picks up his toothpaste.

"What is this? This is colgate. I only use Crest! Mother, what is the meaning of this travesty" Azriel screams from the bathroom.

"Colgate is good too. Your favorite wrestler, John Cena uses it. It is in his theme song." Said Azriel's mom

"My favorite wrestler is not John Cena!" Screams Azriel.

* * *

Azriel walks out of his house where Malice is standing with his Black Jansport backpack with various pins of band logos on it.

"Hey Malice, give me five." Azriel said, before slamming the palm of his hand against Malice's forehead, sending him to the ground. "You were supposed to put your hand up."

"Sorry lord." Malice said, before standing up. He then looks at Azriel, noticing that he's wearing leather pants and a leather jacket with sandals. "Um, are you really going to High School dressed like that?"

"Oh right, I forgot my sunglasses." Azriel said, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pair of shades.

"No, I mean, you're dressed in all leather and you don't even have a shirt on." Malice said.

"Malice, quit being a nerd. Everyone knows that Leather is the most intimidating of materials. In order to seek dominance in the jungle known as High School, I must wear this to instill fear in anyone who thinks that they can knock me off my pedestal." Azriel explains.

"Azriel, my lord, as your friend-"

"Assistant to the King." Azriel corrects

"Right. Don't you think that it's better if you don't assume that you're automatically entitled to being the big man on campus." Malice said

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm seven feet tall. I heard that you can't teach that." Azriel said, before we cut to Azriel and Malice stepping in front of the high school.

"Freshmen year." Malice states as he walks in with Azriel.

"This is the beginning of my destiny being fulfilled." Azriel said as they enter the High School. At that instant Azriel stopped and so did everyone in the hallway. Not at the sight of Azriel. But at the sound of his monologue. "No…. It can't be…. My greatest rival"

Who was Azriel talking about? Jason Sabre of course. He was talking to Talia Brooks as his best friend, Detrick Cyrus is in the behind him, looking at his IWatch as he watches his best friend hit on Talia, a bit irritated. Azriel marches toward them.

"Azriel, this isn't the time." Malice said chasing after Azriel.

"Shut up Malice." Said Azriel as he walked towards Jason Sabre as everyone watches. As he walks, Azriel snatches a Chicken Sandwich out of Ray Kiran's hand and taking a bite.

"After that me and Detrick-" Jason is mid sentence before his best friend interrupts.

"Look out, giant nerd at 8 o'clock. Well, almost eight. It's actually 7:45." Detrick said, pointing towards Azriel who had finished the Chicken Sandwich before he finally got close to Jason, look down at the smaller man.

"Hey, Double A, Average Azriel. What's up?" Jason asked.

"I am not Average." Azriel said as Talia looks down, at Azriel's leather pants.

"Below average from what I see." Talia laughs as Azriel then notices other people in the hallway began to laugh in suit.

"Oof, dude. Shouldn't have worn tight leather." Jason said.

"This is the material of the strongest warriors." Azriel shouts.

"And apparently the smallest." Jason Sabre cracks irritating Azriel.

"MAAAALLLLICE!" Azriel shouts.

"I'm right here sir." Malice said.

"Find me something that makes my junk look huge." Azriel said.

"What is things I shouldn't say in public?" Jason says, parodying Jeopardy

"A thousand points for Jason Sabre." Detrick plays along as Azriel grits his teeth.

"Enough about my perfectly adequate man parts. I refuse to let you top me in High School. I hereby declare war on you." Azriel said.

"Whatever floats your boat. Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to kick off the new year, the right way." Jason said, motioning to Talia.

"I refuse to be ignored for a plastic tramp like this woman. You and I shall battle to the death right now." Azriel said.

"Did you just call me a tramp? I am classy." Talia said, causing Jason, Azriel, Detrick and Malice to all look at each other, not believing what they just heard.

"I will ignore her stupidity in favor of beating you up." Azriel said

"Dude, you don't want this fight." Sabre warns.

"Yes I do. I must prove that I am the King of this jungle, like Scar in the Lion King." Azriel said.

"Scar got beat up by Simba." Jason said.

"I didn't see that part. I got to the part where Scar killed Mufasa and turned it off. No point watching the rest after the Protagonist won." Azriel said.

"Scar wasn't the hero of the story Azriel." Jason Sabre said, stunned by that comment.

"You're lucky that you're pretty, because clearly you have no brains." Azriel said.

"Haven't I scored higher than you in every subject?" Jason mentions.

"That's it. Time to feel the Despair of King Azriel!" Azriel yells before hearing a whistle. He stops as Asher Darma appears in a blue polo shirt with a sticker on it that's in the shape of a badge.

"We will be having none of the fighting in the School of the High Caliber." Asher Darma said.

"Who are you?" Jason Sabre asked.

"I am Asher Darma, the Monitor of the Halls." He introduces himself, before shaking Jason's hand. Then the hand of Detrick. Then Azriel. Then Talia. Then Malice. All of whom, look confused.

"You mean Hall Monitor." Detrick chimes in.

"That is exactly what I said. Anyways. We should all be friends, because friendship is what makes the world go round." Asher said

"I will never be friends with someone like him. Also the world does not spin because of friendship. Read a book, you dork." Azriel said.

"Okay then. We still can't be fighting. So, I'd like to propose something that will allow you to vent your stress in a productive manner." Asher said, before handing both of them a poster.

"Battle of the bands." Jason Sabre said.

"Yes. In two weeks time this school will be hosting a Battle of the Bands. You two should form bands and compete." Asher Darma said.

"What does the winner get?" Azriel said

"Pride." Asher Darma said.

"I have no interest in that." Jason Sabre said.

"They'll also be giving two hundred dollars to every member of the band." Asher said.

"I'm in!" Both Azriel and Jason said at the same time.

"Great. Now go your separate ways peacefully." Asher said.

"Yes…. Peacefully…." Azriel said, before taking one step back. "Psyche!"

Azriel lifts up his leg, going for a surprise big boot, before a loud rip his heard. Jason Sabre cringes as laughter is heard throughout the hall.

"MAAAALLLIIIIICE! Get the sewing kit!" Azriel shouts as he tries to cover the massive hole exposing his rear end.

"There is no sewing kit." Malice replies.

"Steal one from home economics!" Azriel screams at his as the laughter has not died down.

* * *

A couple days later during lunch period Jason Sabre, Detrick Cyrus-Guerrero, Freddy Escobar-Guerrero, CJ Hawk and Natalia Rodriguez sit at a lunch table.

"Jason, I don't know how to play any instruments." Freddy Escobar said.

"You used to play the clarinet." Detrick mentions.

"I need a rockstar, not Squidward!" Jason said.

"Why are you taking this so seriously man? It's just Azriel." Detrick said.

"I need the money man." Jason replies.

"The smart money is on us winning and you guys have me in your band, so his band has to suck." CJ Hawk said.

"Hawk, how much money did you bet on us?" Detrick asked.

"None. I would get no money if I bet on us. It's that lopsided." CJ Hawk said.

"Well, it doesn't matter who wins. All that matters is that we help spread school spirit." Natalia said, causing all the guys to look at her.

"Natalia isn't allowed in the band." Freddy said.

"Hey, that's my girl you're talking about." Detrick said, punching Freddy in the arm.

"It's okay. I'm busy helping out in planning the event. It's going to be really cool guys. We're going to even have a celebrity guest." Natalia said.

"I'm glad Pepe from the Block is finally getting recognition." CJ Hawk said with a smile.

"No, CJ. Someone better. We're getting Chris Jericho from Fozzy!" Natalia said.

"Chris Jericho is a muppet." CJ Hawk, said confused.

"No, Chris Jericho has a band named Fozzy." Jason Sabre explains.

"He's playing here the day before the Battle of the Bands. Principal Pantera pulled some strings and got him to show up. Isn't that cool guys?" Natalia explains.

"Hmm…. Chris Jericho." Jason ponders, which Detrick notices.

"I don't like the look on your face." Detrick said.

"Listen, our band may be the favorite when it comes to betting, but I know a way to make sure we win that money." Jason grins.

* * *

Meanwhile, Azriel and Malice are behind the gym, where they spot Jesus Garza and Rey Aguayo on the lookout. Azriel tries to give them the 'Sup Nod'. He then nudges Malice. Malice rubs his shoulder, before doing the same 'Sup Nod'. Rey and Jesus look at each other, embarrassed and disgusted.

"Mira a este idiota" Rey Aguayo said.

"Hey. You don't do that here." Jesus said.

"Way to go Malice. You made me look uncool. You were too slow when doing it. It made it awkward. This better not affect my standing in the Hispanic community or I will destroy you." Azriel rants.

"Sorry lord." Malice sighs even though he wasn't the uncool one.

"So you guys are here to see the queen?" Rey asked.

"Yes." Azriel said.

"They're in the AV Club room." Rey reveals.

"Then why are you guys standing behind the gymnasium?!" An outraged Azriel asked.

"Because Sofia thought it would be funny to make dumbass fools like you walk all the way back inside the school." Rey explains.

"Well chico, you really made Malice look like a dumbass fool. You got'em." Azriel said, trying to shift the mocking over to Malice. Malice just sighs. "Start walking you dumbass fool."

"What am I doing with my life?" Malice says under his breath as Azriel and him walk away.

* * *

Malice and Azriel enter the AV room. The room is very dim. Soon, a gun is pointed at the heads of Malice and Azriel. Malice looks over to see Phoenix. While Sofia is seen pointing a gun at Azriel... Well at least his back.

"You can have Malice, just don't shoot me. I have yet to rule the world." Azriel pleads as Sofia presses the gun against his back.

"How did you guys get guns into the school?" Malice asks.

"Don't ask questions." Sofia said. "It ruins the fun."

"That's right. That's why you should let me go and shoot him. I am super fun." Azriel said

"Lord…." Malice narrows his eyes toward the seven footer that's about a foot and half taller than Sofia.

"I won't shoot and neither will he. If you have the entry fee to see the Queen." Sofia said, holding out her hand.

"Let me check, the King's royal bank account." Azriel said, before looking at Malice. "How much money is in your wallet?"

"I have twenty dollars and a nickel." Malice said

"Give it to her." Azriel demands

"But-"

"I don't have time for buts. I wish to live and if that means me losing all the money in my funds, so be it." Azriel said loudly.

"It's my funds." Malice said under his breath, before taking his wallet out and handing Sofia the twenty and the nickel. Sofia and Phoenix put their guns down. Sofia then points at a single table with a spotlight on it. There sits the Queen herself. Alexis Espinoza. She sits there with her hands clasped together as Azriel approaches with Malice. Two chairs are right there. Azriel sits down in one, but when Malice tries to pull his chair out to sit in it. Azriel grabs it, stopping the chair.

"You don't get to sit, after your pathetic display back there. You gave in so easily." Azriel said, causing Malice to sigh again. "What an embarrassment."

"So why are you here Azriel?" Alexis asked.

"Two reasons. One, I'm betting two hundred dollars on my band as the winners of the Battle of the Bands!" Azriel claims.

"Sir, we don't have the money." Malice said.

"Of course we do. Especially when we win the two hundred dollar prize and we double, or possibly even triple our profit." Azriel said.

"I'll have Sofia put that down." Alexis said. "So what's the second thing."

"How would you like to be the Queen of the future King of Despair?" Azriel asked raising both his eyebrows up and down, multiple times.

"I said no every year you've asked me that Azriel. I have the same answer this year." Alexis said, rolling her eyes.

"Is it because you're intimidated by my sex appeal and worry that I would cheat on you? Because I totally would have seven side pieces." Azriel said.

"No. It's because you're unremarkable in everything." Alexis said.

"Are you talking about me or Malice?" Azriel asked.

"Both. Anyways, thanks for your money. You can get out now." Alexis said, annoyed.

"Wait, I need some advice on how I can win the Battle of the Bands." Azriel said.

"Force the judges to vote in your favor." Alexis suggests.

"Brilliant, but which judge." Azriel said, causing Alexis to smile, a bit amused.

"How familiar are you with Fozzy?" Alexis asked

"I prefer Sesame Street." Azriel replied.

"Okay…. How familiar are you with Chris Jericho?" Asked Alexis.

"Very familiar. I loved it when he punched Shawn Michaels' wife." Azriel said.

* * *

Jason Sabre, Freddy Escobar, Detrick Cyrus and CJ Hawk are walking in some backstage area dressed as the Beatles.

"Hey man, what's the point of dressing like the Beatles?" Detrick Cyrus asked as he was dressed like John Lennon.

"What type of beetles have mops on their heads?" CJ Hawk said, dressed like Geroge Harrison.

"Better question, why the hell am I Ringo?" Freddy complains to Jason, who was clearly Paul McCarthy.

"Because you didn't bring the right Pizza." Jason Sabre said.

"How was I supposed to know that you wanted it from a Pizza restaurant and not from the frozen section of the Dollar General?" Freddy defends.

"That still doesn't explain why we had to dress like the Beatles." Detrick said, trying to keep quiet, unlike his friends.

"Because the opening act is a Beatles tribute act. Clearly security bought it." Jason said, before all four of them come to a stop as they see Azriel dressed like Ringo Star. "What the hell?"

"Who is this imposter?! I am the real Ringo!" Azriel points at Freddy.

"No, I'm the real Ringo!" Freddy said, pointing back at Azriel in vein of a Spiderman meme.

"Will you be quiet before we get found out and arrested?" Detrick said, still trying to keep the noise down to a minimum as people begin to notice.

"How did you know of my brilliant plan to kidnap Chris Jericho of whatever the hell this Fozzy band is and force him to vote my band as the winner of the Battle of the Bands?" Azriel asked, getting in Sabre's face.

"First off, It was my plan first. Secondly, I'm not kidnapping Jericho. Thirdly, where's you band? And lastly, if no one came with you, why the fuck did you decide to dress as Ringo?" Asked Sabre

"He was the best Beatle!" Azriel loudly declares.

"Will you five please ...Shut...the hell up!"

All five men look over to see Chris Jericho right in front of them.

"Wow ...Chris Jericho." CJ Hawk said in awe.

"Jericho, I have come to kidnap you and force you to vote my band as the winner of the Battle of the Bands." Azriel said.

"You're a Stupid Idiot." Chris Jericho said.

"Listen, Mr. Jericho, we're all huge fans of yours and we're begging you to vote for us." Detrick said.

"Yeah, I really need that money." Jason pleads.

"Oh yeah…. You think you're big Chris Jericho fans…. Then tell me your top five Fozzy songs." Chris Jericho said causing the group of five to look at each other, trying to think

"Um ...Judas" Jason said.

"Yeah, yeah, that." The other four go in agreement.

"Enemy." Detrick calls.

"Yeah, Yeah, that." The guys repeat trying to think

"He has a song called Sandpaper with Avenged Sevenfold's guy right?" Asked Azriel.

"Oh yeah. You can never forget Sandpaper." Jason said as Jericho watches unimpressed.

"You know what. I'm going to get a little bit of bubbly. And you guys…. You guys can get the hell out of here." Chris Jericho said, before the five guys notice a bunch of security guards surrounding them. Soon we cut to all five being kicked out of the arena and landing in the dumpster outside.

"This is all of your faults and Malice too." Azriel said.

"Speaking of Malice, where is he?" Detrick asked.

"His mom made him stay home for dinner. When I rule the world, I will behead her." Azriel states as he gets out the dumpster. Jason and his crew do the same.

"Azriel, why can't you give up?" Asked Jason.

"I won't rest until you are under my feet." Azriel said.

"No, dude, shut up. Seriously, why can't you just give it a rest for once. I need the money." Jason said.

"I will not be defeated by you again, Jason. Your selfishness will be your final downfall and I will become the King of our school, when my band crushes yours." Azriel said, sticking his finger out at Jason.

"Don't make me snap that in half." Jason threatens smacking the finger away.

"I see that I'm getting in your head." Azriel said, proud of himself.

"You're not." Jason Sabre said.

"I totally am. Score one for King Az." Azriel said

"Whatever King Ass." Jason said, before walking past Azriel.

"No, I said Az! It's King Az!" He yells as Freddy, CJ and Detrick walk past him.

* * *

A raucous crowd has filled the theater room of the high school. Chris Jericho, Pepe from the Block and Rey Pantera Sr are seen at the judges table as Azriel peers from behind the curtain.

"I can't believe all these people showed up to see me crush Jason Sabre in musical competition." Azriel said.

"It might be the other way around." Malice spoke to himself.

"What was that?" Azriel asked.

"Nothing lord. So, are you sure you can do this by yourself?" Malice asked.

"Of course. Ozzy didn't need Black Sabbath. Michael didn't need the Jackson 5. Ringo didn't need the Beatles. And I don't need a band to hold me back either." Azriel said, before seeing Jason, Detrick, Freddy and CJ walk up to go position of the stage. "Here comes the Losers of New School. Ha ha ha. That was good. Give me five."

Azriel raises his hand and Malice puts his head down as he high fives him.

"We're called Legends of New School." Detrick said.

"I liked the Hawk's nest better." CJ spoke up.

"No one asked for your thoughts." Jason said.

"I can't wait to watch you lose." Azriel said.

"Azriel, you and your band of imaginary friends are going to lose. I don't even need to tell you that, because deep down inside, you know." Jason said.

"I don't have any imaginary friends in the band. I am a solo act." Azriel states as they hear the voice of Natalia Rodriguez.

"Well guys, we're down to our last two acts." Natalia says.

"That's right. I'm closing the show." Azriel said. "Get out there and warm up the crowd for the star of the show."

"There won't be a crowd, because you're the post show and I'm the main event." Jason said, patting him on the arm and walking past the giant, grabbing a guitar on his way there.

"What a jerk." Azriel says to himself

"Ladies and gentlemen. Jason Sabre, Detrick Guerrero, Freddy Guerrero and CJ Hawk, the Legends of New School!" Introduces Natalia as she steps away and the curtains pop up to reveal Jason with a gutair and in front of the mic, Detrick on Bass, CJ on drums and Freddy on Clarinet.

"Freddy! Wrong instrument" Detrick said.

"Oh right." Freddy said, before running off stage and coming back, pushing out a turntable and putting on a pair of Beats by Dre over his neck.

"He knows that he's muted right?" Asked Jason.

"So is CJ." Detrick said.

"So are you. I got Natalia playing an instrumental in the background." Jason said.

"Then let's fake it till we make it." Detrick says as the song starts. A familiar guitar rift is heard as the crowd goes crazy. The lights turn to an orangish and yellow light bathes the entire gym as Detrick tries his best to fake the famous guitar as CJ Hawk randomly hits random parts of the drum with no consistency. Meanwhile Freddy is just spinning the pair of records on the turntables while head bobbing.

"He's using 90's music that describes the grungy feeling of the youth. This is unfair!" Screams Azriel from backstage

"_**Load up on guns, bring your friends. It's fun to lose and to pretend. She's over-bored and self-assured. Oh no, I know a dirty word**_" Sing Jason Sabre as girls go crazy while Jason succeeds at looking like a grungy badboy, even covering the front of his face with his hair while playing the gutair.

"**Hello, hello, hello, how low**

**Hello, hello, hello, how low**

**Hello, hello, hello, how low**

**Hello, hello, hello"**

"He's pretty good. Man, he really is an Ace." Malice comments.

"I will be better!" Azriel declares. "This cover song is nothing compared to the original piece of art I made"

**With the lights out, it's less dangerous. Here we are now, entertain us. I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now, entertain us. A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido. Yeah, hey**" Jason finishes as the crowd pops loudly. Chris Jericho stands up and give them a round of applause with everyone else as all four boys take center stage.

"Man, I should be a DJ." Freddy said, proud of himself.

"I wouldn't look into that career just yet bro." Detrick advises. Natalia comes out onto the stage and hugs all four.

"You guys were great." She said off mic.

"Hey guys, for our next gig, can I get a drum solo?" CJ asked.

"No." The other three reject, before leaving the stage. The crowd dies down and start to leaves.

"No guys, there's one more person. I don't know how he'll top it-"

"And I will top it!" Azriel screams from behind

"But here's….the one man band-"

"Wow, Heath Slater." CJ smiles.

"Azriel and no one else, because only Azriel matters." Natalia announces, reading off a card, before stepping off the stage so the curtain can raise again to reveal Azriel.

"Oh…" CJ said disappointed.

"MAAAALLLLLIIIIIICCCE! Give me the instrumental." Azriel said, before Malice comes out with a Boombox and presses the play button, before Azriel pushes him off the stage. An instrumental of Old Town Road by Lil Nas X plays.

"**I'm going to choke Jason in a hotel room**

**Gonna kill him…. Till I can't kill no more**

**I'm going to choke Jason in a hotel room**

**Gonna kill him…. Till I can't no more**

**Gonna jump him from the back, That booty gonna get smashed-"**

"I can hear the Azriel/Jason shippers typing after that." Sofia comments.

"**Satan gots my back**

**Malice holds my fanny pack**

**I'm gonna ride a black horse**

**wanna lick girl pores**

**I've been in church**

**They threw me off their porch now"**

"This is awful…." Detrick said.

"He should've just sang Sandpaper." Freddy said

"Must've forgotten." CJ Hawk said

"You can never forget Sandpaper." Jason Sabre said.

"**Everyone can see my penis**

**With a microscope, it's pretty humongous!"**

At this point boos overwhelm Azriel

"Hey! I'm singing here!" Screams Azriel before a Tomato gets thrown at him. "Who threw that? I will annihilate you!"

Suddenly more tomatoes start to get thrown as we cut to the crowd where Sofia is holding a barrel of tomatoes.

"Tomatoes here! Only a dollar to throw it at Shitty Az X." Sofia promotes as people swarm her with money

"Stop it! I'm not done." Azriel said as he keeps getting hit with Tomatos. "MAAAALLLLIIIIICE! Help me!"

* * *

We cut to Jason Sabre walking to a decent sized house where there's a few little kids playing. An elderly lady sits in a rocking chair, watching them all play.

"Jason, how did it go?" The lady said as Jason leans over so she can kiss his cheek.

"We won." Jason said, before holding up the check for two hundred dollars. He hands it to her.

"Jason, you don't have to. You earned this for yourself." The old lady said.

"Mrs. Rosalinda, I didn't do the Battle of the Bands for myself, I did it for us. For the kids." Jason said, looking over at the three boys and two girls kicking a soccer ball back and forth. "This has been my home since my parents died. I'll never not give back to you and this place."

"You're growing up to be a respectable young man." Rosalinda said before Reyna, exited the house.

"In what world is he respectable?" Reyna said.

"How's the being half naked job going again?" Jason teased.

"I work at Hooters Jason." She said, hitting Jason in the arm.

"You guys should really consider behaving better in front of the young ones." Rosalineda said looking at the five children watching the teenagers fight.

"Nope." They both said at the same time.

* * *

Chris Jericho sits in his tour bus annoyed as he goes through his voice

"Chris….it is I, Azriel, future King of Despair and Ruler of Planet Earth, possibly Mars if I am bored. Anyways, I'm thinking you should reverse the decision-"

"This message has been deleted" says the phone as Jericho presses delete

"Hey, you haven't called back. I was wondering if you'd like to get together for coffee. Malice will pay and we can discuss plans on how to destroy Jason Sabre"

"This message has been deleted" says the phone as Jericho presses delete

"Hey Chris, it's me. Can I be on your podcast?"

"This message has been deleted" says the phone as Jericho presses delete

"Hey, it's your future god, Azriel. I just heard all of Fozzy's discography. I downloaded it all for free and I still want a refund."

Jericho groans

**(Fade to Black)**

* * *

**A/N: This is the first of a few AU specials. They'll be done from time to time as a fun break.**


	2. 1: Episode of Jericho Watch it Man

We open in a church. Father Ron Dillenger is at the stand. "You sinners will burn if you sleep in! Speaking of which, Sister Reyna! Where the heck is Jay-Sin Saber!" Father Ron asks in a stereotypical southern accent despite them being in California.

"Yeah man, I'm missing Sunday Night Heat right now." CJ Hawk yells from the back of the church, before Papa Hawk smacked him on the back of the head.

"Keep talking like dat and you gonna get ten across the ass boy." Papa Hawk said.

Reyna looks up, taking her air pods out. "I'm sorry, what?" Reyna asks, not paying attention.

"REYNA! WHERE IS YOUR SINFUL FRIEND?!" Father Ron screams, going red in the face.

"Oh, Jason? He's not my friend. Ask CJ." Reyna said.

"Reyna, child, go get your adopted brother, before the orphanage puts him back up for adoption." Rosalinda said.

"That's a good reason to not get him"

"You'll go with him. Like one of those two pack action figures that the boys always want." Rosalinda replies, sending Reyna to her feet and out the door.

* * *

**(Sandpaper by Fozzy) **

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(The video opens to everyone standing very seriously in front of the school, except Asher Darma, who is smiling. He didn't get the memo.)

Sandpaper tears at my skin, grinding the state I'm in

(It shows Azriel grinding….meat at a butcher's shop as Asher Darma watches in horror.)

Millstone my heart it scrapes, grabbing the soul that bleeds within

(It cuts to Jason Sabre giving a flower to an Kailene as Detrick watches confused)

Abrasive wounds that never heal, bleeding emotions are hard to feel

(La Rebelion are shown trying to sell crack to Azriel.)

Evasive sounds of true bliss calling

(It then cuts to Sofia chasing MAAALICE down the hall with a gun)

Mauling your paramour's kiss revealed

(It then shows Chris and Scarlet going in for a kiss, but Asher Darma puts a barbed wire baseball bat, where did he get that, in between them and writes them tickets.)

Something happens when the dark meets the light

(Next, it shows The Ruffians and Yul Bannock smoking the good shit while Asher Darma sprays febreeze)

Something happens when you start up the fight

(It then cuts to a terrified Freddy Escobar and a confident Sofia Reynoso getting ready to fight)

Something happens when the sun turns to grey

(The fight is revealed to be a Rock, Paper, Scissors match. Sofia wins.)

Something happens when you scare the monsters away

(Azriel tries to hand Alexis flowers, but there is a bee in the flowers and it stings Azriel in the face.)

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(It cuts finally to the yearbook photo session with Jason in the middle and Azriel is trying his hardest to get in front of Jason. Asher Darma is still smiling while everyone else is watching the fight. Still hasn't gotten a memo. Then it cuts to Phoenix holding a sign that says 'WFA High School…. sorry')

* * *

We open the episode with Reyna looking angrily at Jason Sabre on the sidewalk as we hear police sirens in the background.

"You… little…. Shit" Reyna said.

"How was I supposed to know that your manager at Hooters was an adult?" Jason defends.

"She's fifty!" Reyna shouts.

"Listen, she could've just looked older than her age. I couldn't judge." Jason said.

"I told you that she was fifty and has four kids. You even dated two of them!" Reyna said.

"I forgot." He shrugs.

"I can't believe you skipped Church to sleep with my manager." Reyna said

"I didn't skip church to sleep with her. I skipped it because Church sucks." Jason said causing Reyna to sigh.

"We're not telling Grandma about this." Reyna said.

"I'm fine with that." Jason said. "It's not the first secret we've kept from her."

"Don't bring up Utah either." Reyna said.

"I won't." Jason said. "So what's for Breakfast?"

"A knuckle sandwich." Reyna said, punching him in the face.

"This is abuse. Haven't I suffered enough? An old woman touched me." Jason whines as, in the background, the police carry the crying fifty year old to the car. Jason turns towards her, "PERVERT!" Jason shakes his fist in the air.

* * *

Chris Jericho is seen sitting in the teachers' lounge at the school, looking beyond miserable before one of the home ec teachers, Alan Riddle, enters the lounge.

"Hey, what's wrong, Mr. Jericho? Aren't you excited to be working here?" Alan asks in a suck up tone.

"I used to be a rockstar. I wrote Sandpaper for God's sake. Then I met Azriel. That tall bastard ruined my life so bad that now I have to work here as a music teacher. I lost everything! My kids! My Wife! My career!" Jericho said

"That's awesome Jericho" Alan Riddle gave a thumbs up, before Jericho stands up and turns around. Suddenly he swings around and hits Alan with The Judas Effect. The other home ec teacher, Kris Wolf enters and smiles brightly.

"Hiya Chris!" Kris greets happily, despite it being so damn early in the morning and Chris scowling.

"Hi Kris." Chris grumbles before noticing someone crawling on the floor in a shitty army crawl. It's Kris' younger brother, Chris Wolf and he has a cheap Davy Crocket hat on. "What the hell are you doing in here, Kevin?"

"My name's Chris too!" Chris Wolf howls from the ground.

"If you were really a Chris. Then where's your Chris membership card?" Chris Jericho said before holding up a Chris Membership card.

"I can't afford one. I steal my sisters from time to time."

"I let you borrow it, it's fine." Kris said patting his little brother on the head as he's on the floor, before Chris Wolf slaps her hand away

"No I stole it Kris! Gosh, you're such a pain!" Chris Wolf whines.

"Christina Wolf, what am I gonna do with you?" Kris shakes her head, still smiling.

"That's not my name! Mom got it changed!" Chris Wolf said.

"Regardless. What the hell are you doing in the Jericho Lounge?" Chris Jericho asked.

"You mean Teach-"

"Jericho Lounge! Look." He says louder, before pointing to a piece of paper on the fridge that says "Fridge of Jericho…. Freeze it up Maaaaaaannnn!" then a clock that says 'Clock of Jericho…. Time it Up Maaaaaaaan!'. "There's more rearranging coming soon Junior. And in the Lounge of Jericho, little brats like you aren't welcome."

"I just want a candy bar." Chris Wolf said

"Chris, I can buy you one after you eat Breakfast" Kris said.

"No! You're buying me nothing! I'm the real Chris!" Chris Wolf said.

"Kevin, Get. The. Hell. Out!" Jericho said pointing at the 'Door of Jericho…. Turn the knob Maaaaaannnn!"

As Chris Wolf begins to walk out, head down, Kris stops him. "Wait Chris! You have a smudge on your face!" Kris turns him around and starts rubbing her thumb on his cheek.

"Stop it! Don't touch me with your girl cooties!" Chris Wolf whines before running away face first into the Door of Jericho, knocking himself out.

* * *

We cut to the classroom, where the entire class is surrounding Jason Sabre as he stands on the desk. "This PERVERT was actually really good in bed, guys! I'd put her in my top one thousand."

"Is it really necessary for you to brag about your sex life?" Detrick asked.

"Yes. Yes it is." Jason said.

"Okay, just asking." He rolls his eyes.

"So let me tell you about going in through her backdoor."

"That is the breaking and entering. It is very illegal, Ace of the High School" Asher Darma said, approaching the conversation.

"That's not what he meant Asher." Freddy said.

"Then what does he mean? Actually why didn't you just ring the doorbell at the front door." Asher Darma said.

"Man, the bell I'd ring is the one that starts matches." CJ Hawk said, causing everyone to look at him. Suddenly Azriel stepped into the room with Malice by his side.

"Peons, your king has arrived." Azriel declares to no reaction. Suddenly Jason throws a ball of paper at him.

"You suck." Jason said to laughs.

"Well, Well, Well. If it isn't my arch nemesis-"

"You're not my arch nemesis." Jason said.

"I am very much so the antagonist to your protag status. Anyways, as I was saying, before you decided to be a smart ass. I am going to destroy you."

"How so?" Jason asked, before Azriel puts a newspaper down. "Why are you showing me that Kane is running for Mayor?"

"No, the ad, you blind sexybeast. Read it." Azriel said.

"Oh yeah. Hooters needs a new manager. Whoever they are should send me a basket." Jason said

"MALLLLLIIIICE, get Jason Sabre a fruit basket with all the fruits he despises as I will be the manager of this classy dining establishment." Azriel said.

"Lord, you have to be at least eighteen." Malice said.

"I am over Eighteen in dog years!" Azriel shouts.

"Azriel, I don't think this will work out for you." Detrick said.

"Shut up Detrick or I won't employ your girlfriend to wear short shorts and a tight top for other men to oogle at." Azriel threatens.

"Yeah Detrick, shut up" Freddy Escobar said, wanting to see that before Kailene Starr throws a dry erase marker at his head. "What? I want you to have employment"

"Yeah right." Kailene rolls her eyes.

"You're getting a black eye later man." Detrick said.

"I see nothing wrong with Kailene being half naked." CJ Hawk said

"Agreed." Jason said

"Yeah." the entire male portion of the class said except Asher

"I believe that Kailene should dress more modest and not like one of those women who sell hooks on the street." Asher said, before we hear a loud boo from the males in the class.

"Can we keep Asher?" Luna Lucifina asks.

"Maybe…" Kailene sighs, facepalming.

"When I win the general manager position, I will force your sister, Reyna, to wash toilets every day for the next ten years." Azriel said.

"Hey is the General Manager position a Championship?" CJ Hawk asked.

"No." Detrick said.

"Not interested." CJ Hawk said, before the bell rings signalling that class is starting.

"Hey where's the teacher?" Kailene asked, before Natalia Rodriguez walked in.

"So which one of you locked Mr. Riddle in the bathroom of Jericho? Kris is trying to get him out." Natalia asked.

"That's what he gets for telling me that my bread looked flat." Jason said, high fiving some of guys.

"Jason, you're going to get detention." Natalia said.

"Is Alan the moderator?" Jason asked.

"No, it's Kris" Natalia said.

"Yes!" Sabre celebrates as the crowd give a standing ovation except Chris Wolf. Scarlet cheers next to him.

"You are supposed to be on my side!" Chris whines, but no one hears him.

"Kris is the best!" Yul Bannok says

"Yeah, she brings pizza!" Freddy said.

"I wish I had detention with Kris." Detrick said.

"She bought be rare VHS Tapes of Japanese wrestling." CJ Hawk said

"You all suck." Chris Wolf groans.

* * *

In the music class, Chris Jericho stands at the center of the room, still miserable. He is drinking a little bit of the bubbly as he looks down at the floor.

"Are you okay, Mr. Jeri-" Mason Rivers starts out.

"Will you Pa-Lease Shut the Hell up, young lady!" Chris throws his bubbly at Rivers. "You spilled my bubbly! Get out of my class!"

"Yes sir." Mason said, putting his head down and walking out of the class.

"Now that the dead weight is gone. I have your first music assignment. Write a paper on your favorite musical artist." Chris Jericho said. "Now I know that you all will have a hard time picking your favorite musical artist. So I'll pick it for you. Me. Chris Jericho!"

Suddenly a bunch of hands are raised.

"Yes, you." Chris Jericho said pointing at Alexis Espinoza.

"I thought you were a failed wrestler?" Asked Alexis.

"I'm on hiatus." Jericho said.

"Until the end of our senior year." Sofia Reynoso said.

"Listen juniors, I am a rockstar. Haven't you heard of my band, Fozzy?" Jericho asked to silence. Suddenly in the background, Phoenix holds up a sign.

'They made Sandpaper right?' Phoenix's sign asked, before Jericho sits on the floor and lays on it.

"Class dismissed." The miserable Jericho said.

"Mr. Jericho there's 40 minutes left." Luna said

"Ay, bi-curious lovegood. Who cares? He said class is dismissed." Sofia said getting up and sprinting toward the door with everyone else. "So be a good person and let him sulk in peace."

Everyone shrugs and follows Sofia, for she is the other Ace.

* * *

Azriel is seen sitting in the lobby of Hooters on a chair as Malice is outside the door filling out an application.

"Hurry up, Malice. I don't want to be late." Azriel said.

"I'm doing the application as fast as I can lord. But is there a reason why I have to stand outside?" Malice asked

"You're too young for this place. I don't want you to be influenced by all the women who dress like hookers." Azriel said, before a seven year old boy walks in with a man, presumably his father.

"Lord, that was a child who just walked in." Malice said.

"How insensitive. That was clearly a midget." Azriel said, causing Malice to sigh. Malice then reaches in and hands Azriel his application. Azriel looks it over.

"MALLLLIIIIICCCCE! Why did you put Braxton under my first name. It is Azriel" Azriel yells

"Legally it's-"

"I am above the law! I am the King of Despair and soon…. King of Chicken Wing!" Azriel said as Reyna walks up to him.

"Azriel, what are you doing here?" Reyna asked.

"I am here to make you my slave!" Azriel screams.

"Azriel, get out of here. You're making a scene." Reyna said.

"No I am not. I am trying to be the manager. Not a director of Hollywood and possibly Bollywood films. Although I will conquer those as well at one point in my lifetime conquest of this universe." Azriel said.

"You know that you have to be atleast eighteen right?" Reyna asked

"I am over eighteen in dog years." Azriel said.

"We meant in the human years." Reyna sighs.

"You didn't say that on the application. Be more specific next time. But if you turn me away now then I will sue you for discrimination!" Azriel threatens.

"Where's your lawyer?" Reyna asked.

"Malice is right there." Azriel said pointing at Malice who's being harassed by a homeless man.

"He's a highschool student too Azriel. Listen, just go home." Reyna advised.

"Never." Azriel declares.

"Don't make me call security." Reyna said.

"I want to be a manager!" Azriel said.

"You don't get to be manager." Reyna said.

"Who is a better candidate than me? Alan Riddle was the only other candidate." Azriel said.

"He is pretty bad, but there was someone else who was interviewed and they got the job." Reyna said.

"Who?" Azriel asked.

"All aboard the HOOOOOOO TRAIN!"

Ho Train by Jim Johnston plays as various colored lights start to fill the Hooters. Azriel looks around, befuddled until he sees the Godfather enter the restaurant with a pair of fine women right next to him. He struts up to Azriel.

"Pimpin ain't easy man." Godfather shrugs as Azriel scowls at him.

"This is unfair! I will annihilate you all. When I take over the world, I would outlaw all the godfathers! No one's children will have a guardian after they eventually die!" Azriel declares before leaving the hooters.

* * *

Inside the music room, Chris Jericho is livid.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO ONE DID THE REPORT?!" Chris screams, veins bulging in his forehead. He throws the entire bottle of bubbly at the wall. "You stupid idiots! If you don't want to do your reports, I will punish you! Mason Rivers, you get detention!"

"Dang it…" Mason sighs. "But I did the report."

"It sucked!" Jericho yelled at Mason.

"Do I at least get detention with Kris Wolf?" Mason asked

"No! You will do a report about me, dictated by me, and under the watchful eye of me! Drink that in maaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Chris soaks in his own greatness. "The rest of you are dismissed."

Mason slams his head against his desk as everyone rushes out of the class, except Sofia who puts something down on Mason's desk. Mason raises his head and sees an autograph 8x10 of Sofia.

_"__To Nerd from Music class,_

_Thx for being such a loser and helping me get out of class earlier_

_P.S. I'm pretty sure your girlfriend thinks you're a girl and is a lesbian.'_

P.S.S. I stole fifty dollars from you for this autograph'


	3. 2: The Basketball Game

Detrick tries to shoot a basket but Jason Sabre smacks it out of his hand.

* * *

**(Sandpaper by Fozzy) **

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(The video opens to everyone standing very seriously in front of the school, except Asher Darma, who is smiling. He didn't get the memo.)

Sandpaper tears at my skin, grinding the state I'm in

(It shows Azriel grinding….meat at a butcher's shop as Asher Darma watches in horror.)

Millstone my heart it scrapes, grabbing the soul that bleeds within

(It cuts to Jason Sabre giving a flower to an Kailene as Detrick watches confused)

Abrasive wounds that never heal, bleeding emotions are hard to feel

(La Rebelion are shown trying to sell crack to Azriel.)

Evasive sounds of true bliss calling

(It then cuts to Sofia chasing MAAALICE down the hall with a gun)

Mauling your paramour's kiss revealed

(It then shows Chris and Scarlet going in for a kiss, but Asher Darma puts a barbed wire baseball bat, where did he get that, in between them and writes them tickets.)

Something happens when the dark meets the light

(Next, it shows The Ruffians and Yul Bannock smoking the good shit while Asher Darma sprays febreeze)

Something happens when you start up the fight

(It then cuts to a terrified Freddy Escobar and a confident Sofia Reynoso getting ready to fight)

Something happens when the sun turns to grey

(The fight is revealed to be a Rock, Paper, Scissors match. Sofia wins.)

Something happens when you scare the monsters away

(Azriel tries to hand Alexis flowers, but there is a bee in the flowers and it stings Azriel in the face.)

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(It cuts finally to the yearbook photo session with Jason in the middle and Azriel is trying his hardest to get in front of Jason. Asher Darma is still smiling while everyone else is watching the fight. Still hasn't gotten a memo. Then it cuts to Phoenix holding a sign that says 'WFA High School…. sorry')

* * *

Today's episode opens with Jason Sabre jumping over Detrick Cyrus and dunking a basketball into the hoop. Jason hangs there for a second before jumping down as Detrick catches the basketball.

"Those shoes cost Freddy five hundred dollars and they aren't helping your ass win this game." Jason rags on Detrick's shoes.

"Hey don't hate just yet. Freddy told me these shoes were going to make me look like a star." Detrick said, dribbling the ball.

"Too bad you can't play like a star." Jason Sabre said.

"Hey, just wait, you're going to lose this game." Detrick said.

"And if I win, are you going to dump me like Natalia a few weeks ago." Jason mocks.

"She cheated bruh." Detrick said, before Jason swiped the ball and then did a layup, taking advantage of Detrick having his mind on his ex.

"And that's twenty one." Jason smirks.

"Hey, that's not fair man. You verbally low blowed me." Detrick said.

"Better than me actually low blowing you." Jason Sabre shrugs. "Oh by the way, those shoes that La Rebelion sold Freddy are fake. They aren't Jordans. They're Jordens."

He points at the misspelling.

"This is the worst birthday gift Freddy ever bought me and he bought me tickets to Kanye last year…..and went by himself with my ticket." Detrick said, taking off the shoes and throwing them off into the distance…. Hitting a larger man that was sitting on a bench at the park. "Oh shit."

"That's Eddy Escargo. He's from AFW. They call him El Principe." Jason quickly explains as the large hispanic man with big muscles and an awesome Mohawk that stands at least six inches above his head approaches

"Which one of you midgets hit me with these crappy shoes." Eddy said.

"Hey man, it was just an accident. You see, In West LA I was born and raised. The Playground is where I spent most of my days. Chillin. Maxin. Relaxin all cool and shooting some B Ball outside of school." Detrick said in a spoken word way as Jason Sabre cringes in the background.

"Hey Detrick, can you not quote Fresh Prince of Bel Air before you get mauled by this man with a great mohawk." Freddy Escobar said, walking up to the group. "Wow. Your mohawk is great. The only way it would look better is if it was on my head."

"Hey…. mr….. Escargo….or whatever you want to be called, I don't really care honestly. Regardless, we don't want any trouble. My friend was just upset that he lost in basketball and threw his knockoff Jordan's in no specific direction. It's only a coincidence that it hit you." Jason said.

"You guys don't belong in my park." He said

"Why, because we're minorities?" Jason said.

"You're white!" All three of them said.

"Well actually I'm an orphan who's never met his parents, so you can't assume my race….. Ignorant douches." Jason Sabre said.

"Well, it's not because you're minorities. This park is owned by our schools coach…. Trivolt"

"DID SOMEBODY SAY TRIVOLT!" Screamed Anthony Dre, randomly popping out of nowhere scaring the four.

"When did you get here?" Jason asked.

"The Dre was checking out the ladies jogging." Anthony Dre said pointing behind him with his thumb.

"Uh…. Coach Dre…. That lady has one arm." Freddy said.

"And you have one ball in your shorts. The Dre hates discrimination." Anthony Dre said.

"I'm not wearing shorts. Detrick is." Freddy said.

"These are jorts. Learn the difference. Also learn the difference between real shoes and knock offs before you spend five hundred dollars." Detrick Cyrus said

"Oh look who it is." Came a voice. Anthony Dre turned around to see Trivolt driving a golf cart with Bayley right next to him. Dre clenches his fists.

"This is quite the scene. One of my best basketball players talking to my peon of a rival and his three kids."

"The Dre would never let any of these three be his semen." Dre said, insulting the three boys behind him.

"This is my park Anthony, you don't belong here." Trivolt said.

"This is the Dre's park now." Anthony Dre declares.

"That's not how it works." Trivolt said.

"Yes it is. That's why Bayley is Anthony Dre's bitch." Anthony Dre said, before Bayley winks at him. Trivolt looks back at her before she looks to the side, whistling.

"What?! You're going over the line." Trivolt said.

"You know what else. The Dre also owns the Golf Cart now. Move." Anthony Dre said, before pushing Trivolt to the side, accidentally causing Trivolt to hit Bayley and cause her to fly out the side and onto the floor.

"Sorry dear." Trivolt said as him and Dre tried to fight for control of the steering wheel causing the cart to drive around the park erratically as the three boys and Eddy watched.

"The Dre's Bae been rougher with me." Bayley said standing up and dusting herself off.

"Is there something going on between you and Dre?" Jason asked.

"I'd show you what's gone on, but you're underage and I don't want to be like the manager from the hooters. I heard she got arrested for having sex with a minor." Bayley said

"Poor guy. He's such a victim." Jason said as Freddy and Detrick narrow their eyes at them. Suddenly they hear a crash and run over to the slide where the golf cart is on it's side. Dre and Trivolt are arguing.

"You owe me insurance money!" Trivolt shouts.

"The Dre owes you nothing. Anthony Dre is never in debt." Coach Dre said.

"You're going to get it." Trivolt said.

"You're not going to give the Dre anything. If you did give anything ever, then your wife wouldn't be thinking of Anthony Freaking Dre every time she's laying alone in her bed while you sleep in a different room." Dre said.

"That's it!" Trivolt tries to throw a punch, but the three guys hold him back.

"Yo, lets just calm down here. I'm sure we can settle this like men." Freddy Escobar says.

"You're right. Let's settle this in court." Said Trivolt.

"Anthony Dre has David Otunga on speed dial." Anthony Dre said.

"No, I mean the basketball court. Your best five versus my best five." Trivolt says.

"You're on. Winner gets the Park….and your wife." Anthony Dre said.

"Deal." Trivolt said.

"Is it legal to put a woman on the line?" Freddy Escobar asked.

"I don't mind." Bayley said.

"Jaxon, Derrick, Eddy, I want you to put together a dream team." Dre said, looking at Sabre, Detrick and Escargo.

"Um, I'm not from your school. He is." Eddy said, pointing at Freddy.

"Can The Dre and Dolt negotiate a trade?" Anthony Dre asked.

"No!" Trivolt said, before leading Eddy away.

* * *

Asher Darma is in the hallways, dressed in black sunglasses and a police uniform monitoring the halls. He blows his whistle when he sees Natalia putting up posters for the 'AFW vs WFA Basketball Game' on Friday in the park.

"Excuse me, member of the Committee for planning party, I need to see the proper paperwork before you put up these advertisements." Asher Darma said.

"Principal Pantera said I could." Natalia said.

"Did he provide you with the proper paperwork." Asher said.

"Asher, he didn't give me any paperwork. I don't need a permit." Natalia said.

"Take it down or you will be under the arrest." Asher Darma said, before Natalia rolled her eyes and tried to put up another poster only for Asher to take it. "No!"

Then Natalia took another paper from the stack and pins it to the wall.

"Oh! You rebel!" Asher said, before getting on his walkie talkie. "I need back up. We have a Cannon that is loose! Back up please!"

* * *

Freddy Escobar and Detrick Cyrus enter their home. Detrick looks like he is considering either smashing his head against the wall or smashing Freddy's head against the wall.

"It was such a cool mohawk!" Freddy fangirls, losing any masculinity he may have had deep down inside.

"If it was so cool, why don't you get one for yourself?" Detrick smirks, clearly being sarcastic. Unfortunately, Freddy is too stupid to understand sarcasm.

"Genius!" Freddy triumphantly states. "Let's go to Brutus!"

"I have homewo-"

"Let's go!" Freddy drags Detrick away, "Mom doesn't let us go anywhere without each other. The buddy system, Detrick!"

"But I have to go with Jason to find team-"

"Jason's an orphan, he's used to being alone." Freddy casually says before Detrick punches him in the arm. "Ouchie."

"Stop being a pussy, man." Detrick sighs as he reluctantly follows Freddy to Brutus' Barbershop.

* * *

Jason Sabre is seen standing outside the AV Room door at WFA Academy. Jason knocks on the door, before the blinds blocking the window of the door open. Rey Aguayo's eyes are there.

"Password?" Rey said.

"What password?" Jason said.

"Good enough." Rey Aguayo said, before opening the door for Jason. Jason walks into the room where Alexis Espinoza is sitting at the teachers desk as Sofia is spinning around in a wheely chair on the other side of the room. Jason walks up to Alexis and sits in the chair.

"Sup, Godfather?" Jason said before respectfully kissing the large diamond ring of Alexis Espinoza.

"Always a pleasure Sabre. So, why have you come to me on the day of my Saturday School detention.?" Alexis Espinoza asked.

"You see, Detrick screwed up and now I find myself having to put together a dream team for a epic final battle against the AFW Academy." Jason said.

"And how do you expect me to help?" She asked.

"You can help me unite this school so we can own the AFW park." Jason said.

"Wait, the park's on the line?" Alexis said

"Yes. Imagine how much business you'll lose if you don't get to sell to all the kids and homeless looking people over there." Jason said, trying to convince her.

"Say no more." Alexis looks behind him. "Sofia, I need you to do a favor."

"Who am I shooting?" Sofia asked.

"Only thing you're shooting this time is baskets." Alexis said.

"That's no fun" Sofia said.

"The Yearbook staff will be there and taking photos." Alexis said.

"I'm in." Sofia said, getting up from her chair.

"Wait….how is Sofia going to help me win? She….I don't know if you've noticed this….. is a girl." Jason Sabre said.

"It's 2020. Girls go over now." Sofia comments.

"Listen Jason, Sofia has some skill." Alexis said.

"Prove it." Jason said, before we cut to the outside where Sofia shoots a Basketball from one end of the court into the opposite basket. "Welp she proved herself."

Jason shrugs before high fiving Sofia.

* * *

Detrick and Jason facetime from their phones. "Why the fuck weren't you helping me fix your mess?" Jason asks, annoyed.

"Dude…" Detrick stifles a laugh, "Freddy's hair was much...much more important. It is hilarious."

"Detrick! Are you on the phone with Jason?!" Freddy yells from the other side of Detrick's door.

"Yeah?" Detrick replies.

"Tell him I'm off the team! I have more important matters, like showing off my killer new haircut!" Freddy proudly says.

"I...think he'll recover from that terrible loss." Detrick responds.

"Oh no, I don't have Freddy's awesome haircut on my team. How will I win now?" Jason sarcastically says.

"I'm sorry man, but it'll be worth it. I'm not going to school, but I will be posting cryptic hype videos on my Youtube channel to hype up my return for the basketball game on Friday." Freddy said.

"Ten bucks says he's just going to use footage from Chris Jericho return videos." Detrick said.

"I'm going to flag them for copyright infringement." Jason said

* * *

"Hey, did you see that the Save Us Underscore Freddy video got flagged?" Alex Drake said.

"Yeah man. I wonder who those are for." Jaxon Caruso said, taking a hit.

"I think it's for Chris Jericho." Ricky said.

"The Music teacher? Naw man. My Money's on Freddy Mercury. From like Queen. We will. We will. Smoke you." Jaxon Caruso sings at the end.

"This place needs some air freshener. Also where the hell am I?" Jason said.

"Don't worry man. I got you." ALex said, before pulling out Car Air fresheners. "I got Strawberry, Pine, Mountain breeze, Cherry Cola-"

"Cherry Cola?" Jason asked, curiously. "Wait, nevermind all that. Alexis said you guys have hops."

"No we have weed man." Jaxon said. "You want in?"

"I can't. I'm getting drug tested so I can be on the Football team soon." Jason said. "Anyways, can you guys be on the team? We need a fill in for Freddy."

"Freddy? I heard he got a stupid haircut." Ricky responds.

"Wait, you guys heard about that?" Jason asks, confused.

"Yeah man! Detrick has been hyping it up! He's handing out fliers and shit." Alex says.

"He was until Sheriff Darma put a stop to it." Ricky adds.

"I heard Detrick's still in the office, waiting for his mom." Alex says.

"Okay, who cares. Can you guys join me or not?" Jason asks again.

"Eyy Ricky, Alex, you wanna get some Jack In A Box?" Jaxon asks before The Ruffians leave.

"Mother fuckers." Jason says.

* * *

In the AV office, Jason is talking to Alexis.

"I need to find two more guys for this team." Jason says.

"Has everyone really rejected you?" Alexis asks.

"Well, all the ones with athletic ability." Jason responds.

"Oh right, I forgot our school sucks." Alexis says before Sofia pops in.

"Sometimes literally. Have you seen Talia Brooks?" Sofia says.

"Seen her, I felt her." Jason smirks.

"You should go see a doctor immediately." Sofia says.

"I did. Reyna dragged me as soon as she found out." Jason informs.

"Guys, we need to get back on topic. Money is on the line here." Alexis says.

"You're right. There has to be someone here that can join the team" Jason said

"MAAAAALLLLIIIIIIICE! HIT! MY! MUSIC!" said a voice before Hail to the King by Avenged Sevenfold plays as Azriel comes into the room with Malice following, holding up his phone like a boombox. Azriel is dressed in extremely short gym shorts that go up to his thighs and are skin tight and wearing a Harlem Globetrotters Jersey and a Reptar headband. Alexis takes Malice's phone and turns off the music.

"No." Alexis said.

"Yeah, you suck." Jason Sabre said.

"That's no way to talk to an athlete of my caliber. I am seven feet tall and I have come in proper attire." Azriel said.

"You have no athletic prowess and you're wearing the jersey of a fake basketball team." Jason Sabre said.

"They're not fake! I saw them live!" Azriel said. "The Harlem Globetrottersare so good that the NBA banned them."

"Um….thats not why they don't play for the NBA." Jason said.

"Excuse me, I used to actually play Basketball back in the day" Malice said.

"MAAAALLLLIIIICE, shut up while the pros are talking. No one cares about your MyCareer mode on 2K." Azriel said.

"Lord, I actually played Basketball. Remember when we were kids and I scored fifty points in one game." Malice said

"I remember that. We were on the same team." Jason said.

"The only reason you scored Fifty in that game was because I sprained my ankle." Azriel said.

"I thought it was because Coach Ced put you on the bench because you suck." Jason said.

"I was the most underrated member of the team." Azriel said.

"You barely got the ball and I'd still say you were overrated." Jason fires back at Azriel.

"Listen Jason, you sexy puny bug, I am giving you one chance to have me be on the team." Azriel said.

"Okay." Jason said, before walking past Azriel. "Malice, you're on the team. Azriel, screw off."

"But you need five guys!" Azriel said.

"I'll find someone." Jason shrugs

"You will regret this Ace. I swear on Satan that you will." Azriel said, raising his fist to Jason.

"I only regret sitting next to you in Kindergarten." Jason said

* * *

Chris Jericho is seen sitting in his shitty one bedroom apartment. He is eating a Hungry Man tv dinner and watching tapes on his past matches. A knock on the door is heard.

"I don't want no cookies!" Chris yells before he pauses. "Actually, I do!" Chris sets his tv dinner down and stands up. He walks over and opens the door, revealing La Rebelion in ski masks. "What in the hell is this?"

Sofia steps forward. "The kidnapping of Jericho. Tie him up, maaaaaaan." Sofia says before La Rebelion jumps Chris.

* * *

We return to the next day at the basketball game at the park where Chris Jericho is wearing a beanie with a snap back over it, the bill facing to the side of course. He has several gold chains and is wearing a Scotty Pippin Jersey that is basically a crop top because his belly is sticking out. He is also wearing Yoga pants and Stephen Curry shoes. Of course he has his Painmaker makeup on his eyes

"We told you to dress like a teenager." Alexis Espinoza said.

"I did. These clothes are hip." Jericho said.

"No one says hip." Detrick said.

"Shut up before I leave you stupid idiot. You're all lucky that you aren't arrested for kidnapping Le Teacher." Jericho threatens.

"Don't leave. We really need you. Mainly because our student body sucks at sports so we can't find a replacement." Jason said.

"Where's our fifth guy?" Jericho asked before Azriel walks up to them in his basketball attire.

"For the last time, we're not letting you on the team." Jason said.

"What does this totally rad teenager that I've never seen before have that I don't have?" Azriel asked, pointing at Jericho.

"Wait, you actually buy into this disguise?" Alexis said, shocked as Jericho smirks

"What disguise? He's wearing a Scotty Pippin Jersey. He's culturally relevant. What's your name?" Azriel said as Jason, Detrick and Alexis look dumbfounded.c

"Moongoose McQueen."" Chris Jericho said

"This is a joke right…." Detrick said.

"I think he really fell for it." Alexis said

"Azriel, wheres Malice?" Asked Jason. "I saw him with you earlier"

"I locked him on a Porta potty and tipped it over." Azriel said.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Asked Alexis.

"He's not getting out of that potty for a while so now you have to let me in" Azriel laughs.

"Fine." Jason concedes. "But stay out of our way."

"Not a chance. I am the Ringo Star of this team." Azriel said

"Ringo's the worst Beatle!" Jason said

"No. Yoko was. Sorry not sorry Sofia." Azriel said

"At least you're not my Lennon." Sofia shrugs

"Is no one going to ask why he tipped over the porta potty?" Detrick asked.

"Because it was funny." Azriel said, before Coach Anthoyn Dre walks up to them.

"Sabre, where's the Dre Dream Team?" Anthony asked.

"Right here." Jason said as him, Azriel, Detrick, Sofia and Chris 'Mongoose McQueen' Jericho stand in line.

"What in the blue hell kind of dream team is this?" Asked Dre.

"The kind that's actually a nightmare." Sofia shrugs as Dre facepalms.

"Jacob. Derrick. Step forward." Anthony Dre said as both stepped up. Suddenly Anthony Dre smacked both in the arm with his clipboard. "How is the Dre going to own this park with a team like this. Also who is this?!"

Dre points at Chris Jericho.

"You too." Alexis said under her breath as Jericho smirks at her, cockily.

"This is Mongoose McQueen. A foreign exchange student." Jason said.

"Foreign? Foreigners are automatically better at sports. Give him the ball." Anthony Dre said, before hearing a laugh.

"This is the best you got." Trivolt said, driving up to the five with Bayley in his gold cart.

"Oh look, it's the coach to the losing team." Anthony Dre said.

"Anthony, do you know what AFW stands for? Academy For Winner's. Your team has no chance against mine. I'm going to embarass you." Trivolt said.

"The Dre says Just Bring It." Anthony Dre says, causing Trivolt to smirk.

"Boys!" Trivolt calls as Anthony Dre looks over Trivolt's shoulder along with his team to see their five opponents. Trivolt dramatically points at his team. The crowd burst into cheers as they see Eddy Escargo, who is such a muscular giant that he hides the rest of his team. "You all remember Eddy Escargo"

"Yeah I threw a shoe at him" Detrick looks at him, before Eddy looks at him and growls. "It was Freddy's fault though. He bought me the Jordans with an E."

"And this is Charity" Trivolt announces.

Eddy steps to the side to reveal four more people. First is a giant woman, Charity. She has similar face paint to Malice. She raises her fist triumphantly.

"Since when did Malice get a sex change?" Asked Jason

"That Porta Potty must change people. I wish I could've known, so I could've thrown you in there and given you a personality." Azriel laughed at his own joke.

"You're the only one laughing." Jason said.

"High five me, Female MALLLLLIIIIIICE." Azriel asked going up to Charity with his palm out.

"Triple A! Play my music!" She flatly says in a deep voice. Behind her, Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold plays from a boombox. Charity approaches Azriel and slaps him in the face.

"In the palm, not the face." Azriel said. "You have ruined my merchandise."

'It went from a zero star product to a negative one star product." Jason quips.

"I will have my revenge on both of you!" Azriel said to both Charity and Jason. A four foot tall woman stands behind Charity, struggling to hold a boombox. She has long luscious black hair and fashionable leather pants.

"This elf has a poor taste in fashion" Azriel said

"I want to propose a trade. I'll take the elf. You take Azriel. He's seven feet tall you know." Jason offers.

"I heard that you can't teach that." Sofia said.

"That is very disrespectful to my talent." Azriel said.

"There's no talent to be disrespectful to." Jason said.

"You're lucky that this isn't Survivor Series or I'd turn on you and eliminate you from my team." Azriel said.

"I am not an elf. I am a little person." The small woman said

"Everyone is a little person compared to me." Azriel said.

"Only in height." Sofia laughs with Alexis.

"Malice said those pics made it look bigger. Dammit MAAAALLLLIIIICE!" Azriel roars into the sky

"What pics?" Alexis asked, causing Sofia to point backwards at Chris Jericho.

"Wait…. That was a dick pic." Detrick said. "I thought someone was giving my shoes the thumbs up."

"No those weren't even real Jordan's. Why would I give a thumbs up to those." Azriel said

"I can't wait till Freddy shows up." Detrick groans.

"This elf is the secretary of Charity, Above Average Alana." Trivolt announces before Alana drops the boombox.

"Triple A! Why has my music stopped?!" Charity yells.

"Sorry, my queen. It is twice the size of me." Alana replies.

"It's so hard to find good help." Charity sighs loudly.

"Tell me about it! My servant is in the porta potty! He needs to go before coming to the park." Azriel agrees.

"You locked him in!" Alexis said in the background.

After Alana walks to Charity, we see a law abiding citizen wearing khakis. He is wearing Jordans with an E, but on purpose.

"Coach Trivolt, those two girls over there helped sell me my sweet shoes." He said, pointing at Sofia and Alexis.

"Take them off." Trivolt demands.

"But they're some of the best knockoffs I've ever worn." He said.

"Derrick Sirus, as your coach, I demand that you take those off or else, you're running laps." Trivolt said.

"What will I play in?" Derrick asked.

"You don't need shoes to play basketball." Trivolt said.

"You're right." Derrick said, before removing his shoe and throwing it to the side, hitting Eddy Escargo, who looks right at Detrick.

"Yo, it wasn't me." Detrick puts his hands up. "In West LA, I was born and raised-"

"We're really doing the Fresh Prince gimmick again?" Sofia asked.

"Wait a second, who the hell is that nerd?" Jason Sabre asked pointing at a white man with a familiar black hair, a familiar build and a familiar everything. Detrick looks at Jason and then the other guy.

"He looks exactly like you." Detrick said.

"My name is Jason Styles. Remember that name, because it's the name of the guy who's going to beat you and your team of knockoffs."

"Knockoffs? Bitch, we're the OG's." Jason Sabre said.

"Uh…. it depends on which way you look at it." Sofia said, being ignored.

"We have to beat this prick." Jason said to his four teammates and coach.

"We have to beat that prick." Jason said to his four teammates and coach.

"Okay Coach Gay." Trivolt mocked as his team 'OOOOO'ed

"The Dre is okay with the Gay. Unlike Trivolt. What is this 2004? Actually that makes sense. That's the last time you were relevant." Anthony Dre said as everyone except Azriel 'OOOO''ed

"I could've come up with a better comeback." Azriel said to himself.

"Hey who's tipping the ball?" Both Jasons asked, before looking at each other. "Shut up."

"Our Special Guest Referee." Trivolt and Dre and said, before looking at each other. "Shut Up"

Suddenly Kris Wolf comes out of nowhere as both teams and the large crowd around the basketball court clap their hands. She's wearing a Kris Wolf jersey with the number one. In the crowd, Chris Wolf is seen facepalming with a jersey with the number zero on it.

"She's so embarrassing." Chris Wolf groans.

"Shut up." Papa Hawk said, jabbing him in the back with a walking cane.

"Why do you have a walking cane?" Chris questions, nursing his back.

"Because I wanted to hit a dummy today with a cane and I did." Papa Hawk said.

* * *

"Welcome back to High School Amateur basketball live on ESPN Ocho. I am David Harkness with Disco Inferno. We are at half time at this point. What a game this has been Disco." David Harkness said.

"What a waste of time is more like it. I could be getting a tan right now but instead I'm calling a Basketball game between kids. And worst of all, there's girls playing. More people are watching this right now than the WNBA and that's because of the guys…." Disco Inferno said, before getting hit with a basketball.

"My bad…..but not really. I did it on purpose." Sofia said.

"Well let's look at some highlights. Such as Jason Sabre and Jason Styles going point for point in the first half. Each men scored five two pointers. Three three pointers and 1 free throw each. That's twenty points each. It's like they're the same player. They are exactly the same at this." David Harkness said

"Let's talk about that girl getting owned by a man." Disco said, over footage of Sofia getting the ball taken from her by Eddy Escargo.

"How about what happened right after." David Harkness said as footage aired of Eddy dribbling the basketball down the court until Sofia Pantsed him and he tripped, landing on his face, before stomping on him as the crowd chants her name.

"She was fouled." Disco said.

"Detrick wasn't so bad either, scoring a pair of three pointers in the second quarter and assists, aiding Moongoose McQueen in getting some points for their team…..Azriel not so much." David Harkness said as we see footage of Azriel trying to spin the ball on his finger in front of Alana, only for the ball to fall off to the side as Team Dre all face palm.

We then cut to Azriel dribbling the ball before pointing to the crowd.

"MAAAAALLLIIIIICE play my music." Azriel said to silence…."Oh right."

We the cut to a tipped over Porta Potty where we hear Hail to the King playing faintly.

We then cut back to Azriel shooting the ball and making it

"Two Points boys!" Azriel brags

"That was their basket idiot!" Sabre said.

"Still two points closer to your total." Azriel said.

"Azriel, you made it while everyone was on time out. It doesn't count." Referee Kris Wolf explains.

"This is unfair." Azriel said

We then cut to Jason Sabre dribbling the ball across the court getting past Jason Styles only for Azriel to take the ball from him and pass it to Jason Styles.

"I told you I'd have my revenge!" Azriel said.

"You're such an idiot! Can we trade him?" Jason Sabre asked. "I'll take the kid in the wheelchair with an Amputated arm over him"

We then cut to Derrick Sirus blocking Azriel, only for Azriel to drop to a knee and low blow him as Jason Styles attempted to pass Derrick the ball. The ball then hits Azriel in the face.

We then cut back to David Harkness and Disco Inferno with a ice pack over his head.

"The score is currently 34-28 in favor of AWF." David Harkness said, before Caesar Montana comes with a phone.

"Guys the code, the code!" Caesar said as he plays a video that's a direct rip of Chris Jericho's 2007 return video.

"Damn, I missed a video." Sabre said to himself.

"What is the code? Is it Mick Foley. 's baby boy. WHo is it? Stone Cold is the code. Save us Austin! Save Us Austin! Austin save us. My god it's the Rock! Who is it? Who is it? I-…..GOLDBERG! It's who… I- Y2J. Eddie Guerrero. Owen Hart. Arn Anderson. Someone with Y2J. Who is it? Ten. Twenty Nine. Thirty. Thee football. My theme song chant chant. Who is it? Who is it? Who is it? My god Stone Cold is here. Hr's back with the fireworks. My god it's Rey Mysterio. Can you smell what Rey Mysterio is cooking. My god, who is it? I don't know Disco. Bobby Lashley! That's it! I'll be a son of a bitch. Bret Michaels! No Ken Kenndy. No Randy Or- Wait. Y2J! Y2J! Y2J! Y2J! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Chris Jericho?!-" David Harkness said

"Not me…. I mean him, this time." Chris 'Moongoose McQueen' Jericho looks around quickly, before a minivan rolls up onto the basketball court. The sliding door slides open and a confetti cannon explodes as a man in a hood is doing the Jericho pose with his back to everyone. Suddenly you hear 'SexyBack' by Justin Timberlake plays. Freddy turns around and steps out of his moms minivan. He has a huge smile on his face before pulling his hood off to reveal the shittiest mohawk in the history of the world.

"Suck on this, Eddy Escargo!" Freddy said, before the music stops as everyone just stares at him. "Feel free to take pictures."

"That's the worst haircut I've ever seen." Eddy Escargo comments before everyone busts out laughing, especially Detrick.

"Why are you all laughing. This is fashion!" Freddy said as everyone continues to laugh. "You know. You all suck!"

Freddy then gets back in the minivan.

"Mom, take me home." Freddy demands before hearing a loud hyena like laugh. ""God dammit mom! I'm not going to take this sitting down."

Freddy gets out of the minivan and walks up to a snickering Chris Wolf, stealing his raccoon hat and puts it on.

"I'm walking home!" Freddy said, walking past everyone as Kris Wolf gives him the thumbs up.

"Good haircut. It reminds me of one of those ugly dogs that are cute." Kris said.

"That doesn't help." Freddy groans, before walking away.

"Anyways, we'll see you at the end of the fourth quarter." David Harkness segues.

* * *

Team Dre is huddled together.

"Okay, there's ten seconds on the clock. We're down by twenty points. What can we do?" Jason Sabre asked.

"Give me the ball." Azriel said.

"To win. Not lose!" Jason said.

"Oh, then come up with a better idea." Azriel said.

"I have an idea." Sofia said.

"What is it?" Detrick asked.

"We cheat." Sofia said.

"Shouldn't we try winning cleanly." Detrick said.

"We're down by twenty points. I need to beat that nerd, Jason Styles." Jason said, looking at Jason Styles, who's looking at him.

"Okay, just get Kris Wolf for me." Sofia said.

"Yeah, okay." Detrick said. "Mrs. Wolf, can you come over here?"

"What's wrong?" Kris Wolf said as Sofia breaks out in tears…..overdramatically of course. "What happened?"

"Coach Trivolt tried to touch me." Sofia said, extremely loudly so everyone can hear

"What!?" Everyone said, turning to Trivolt.

'Wait…. That didn't-" Trivolt said

"Also he gave all his players steroids." Sofia said.

"No he didn't." Eddy did.

"He gave me steroids." Alana, The four foot tall elf said.

"Yeah me too." Derrick said.

"Those were roofies." Trivolt said causing everyone to look at him again.

"Excuse me….." Detrick said as shocked as everyone else.

"No I didn't roofie him. It was so he could roofie his girlfriend so he could steal her Reverse All Meteors." Trivolt said.

"Buy your pitchforks and torches." Sofia said, only seconds after crying as Jesus and Rey Aguayo collect the money from customers.

"Listen everyone…. Let's just calm down." Trivolt said.

"The Dre says Get Him!" Anthony Dre said with a smirk causing everyone to chase after him. After a few seconds…..

"We won by forfeit." Jericho said.

"You're welcome team." Azriel said. "I told you I was a better player than MALLLIIIIICE."

"Hey, are you going to get him out of the porta potty?" Detrick asked.

"No. He needs to learn his lesson." Azriel said

"What lesson?" Detrick said.

"He's a liar. He promised to play with you guy and I had to step in because he's lazy." Azriel said.

"That's not what happened to him." Alexis said.

"All that matters is that I won the game and the girl." Azriel said before trying to kiss Alexis only for Alexis to point a Revolver at his face.

"Not a chance." Alexis said, before walking away as Sofia counts her money behind her, following.

"Hey, Detrick, let's go get some Pizza." Jason said.

"Hey, can I come?" Azriel said.

"Sure, why not." Jason said.

We then cut to Azriel sitting on a toilet.

"LET ME OUT!" Azriel screams, banging his hand against the door. "I WON US THE GAME JASON! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

Meanwhile on the outside, Jason and Detrick tip over the porta potty….. Right next to a porta potty that's already tipped over

"Now let's get some Pizza." Jason said as him and Detrick fist bump and walk away into the distance.

"My lord is that you?" Malice said.

"MAAAALLIIIIIICE LET ME OUT!" Azriel said.

"I can't, you locked me in here and tipped it over." Malice said.

"FAAAAAKKKEE NEEEEEEWWWWSSSS! You were just lazy and didn't want to play." Azriel said

**(Credit)**


	4. 3: War on Drugs Kinda

In Black and White noir, Asher Darma is seen with a pipe in his mouth. Yul Bannok pulls out a lighter to light it, but Asher Darma pulls it away. We see a nameplate on the desk that says Asher Darma.

"No Yul, that is illegal. Smoking in a closed space will get us in trouble. I am the Man of the law. I cannot break it! Also I will never do such a shameful act. I only decided to do that for the cinematography." Asher explains.

"Mon, why is this in black and white?" Yul Bannok said.

"For Ray Kiran's movie project." Asher Darma said, before we go back to color as Ray Kiran sets his Moterola phone down.

"That was a good shot boys. This movie is going to be a nobel peace pwize winna." Ray Kiran gives the thumbs up, before Rey Aguayo walks into the room. He grabs Yul's lighter, before pulling out a cigarette in front of Asher.

"Hey, what are you doing with that white stick? It better be a candy treat or I will have to arrest you." Asher said.

"It's a real cigarette. You want one?" Rey Aguayo asked, lighting it.

"That is it, . You are breaking the rules and are now under arrest." Asher Darma said, before Rey tosses the lighter back at Yul who catches it.

"Thanks holmes." Rey said, before leaving the room as Asher Darma is ignored.

"Do not just walk away from me like a cool bad boy! I am the law of the school." Asher Darma said only to be ignored. "I think I have been ignored my friends."

* * *

**(Sandpaper by Fozzy) **

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(The video opens to everyone standing very seriously in front of the school, except Asher Darma, who is smiling. He didn't get the memo.)

Sandpaper tears at my skin, grinding the state I'm in

(It shows Azriel grinding….meat at a butcher's shop as Asher Darma watches in horror.)

Millstone my heart it scrapes, grabbing the soul that bleeds within

(It cuts to Jason Sabre giving a flower to an Kailene as Detrick watches confused)

Abrasive wounds that never heal, bleeding emotions are hard to feel

(La Rebelion are shown trying to sell crack to Azriel.)

Evasive sounds of true bliss calling

(It then cuts to Sofia chasing MAAALICE down the hall with a gun)

Mauling your paramour's kiss revealed

(It then shows Chris and Scarlet going in for a kiss, but Asher Darma puts a barbed wire baseball bat, where did he get that, in between them and writes them tickets.)

Something happens when the dark meets the light

(Next, it shows The Ruffians and Yul Bannock smoking the good shit while Asher Darma sprays febreeze)

Something happens when you start up the fight

(It then cuts to a terrified Freddy Escobar and a confident Sofia Reynoso getting ready to fight)

Something happens when the sun turns to grey

(The fight is revealed to be a Rock, Paper, Scissors match. Sofia wins.)

Something happens when you scare the monsters away

(Azriel tries to hand Alexis flowers, but there is a bee in the flowers and it stings Azriel in the face.)

_*Static*_

"Hello everyone this is Jazz Conway of WFA High School News. Earlier today, Sheriff Asher Darma issued a warrant for the arrest of Rey Aguayo. Asher Darma will be arriving soon for an interview." Jazz Conway said, before we hear a noise coming from the staircase behind Jazz.

"Wee Woo Wee Woo Wee Woo" Ray Kiran said as him and Asher Darma rode on the same stick with a horse head, down the staircase. Asher is driving of course.

"Sheriff Darma, can you comment on issuing a warrant against Rey Aguayo and are you worried of any backlash from the Hispanic Drug community?" Jazz asked.

"I do not care about the backlash. The last Backlash was awful. What a show of the bad quality. I was sworn by my mentor, the great Commissioner Jinder Mahal to keep the halls clean. I have let the lords of the drugs run through the distinguished halls of this school for too long. I am declaring a war on drugs." Asher said before an egg got thrown right at his face. Asher falls to the floor, taking a huge bump as Jazz lets out a scream. Ray Kiran grabs a Thomas the tank engine walkie talkie.

"Officer down! I can't see the shooter. I need back up." Ray Kiran said.

"Hey mon, I'm in math class right now. Don't bother me." Yul Bannok said through the walkie talkie

"Hey, Jamacian Cakin, you wanna listen before the Big Booty Daddy puts you in the Steiner Recliner? You wanna pass math or do you want to end up like that fatass Samoa Joe? An overweight piece of-"

"Mr. Steiner, are you allowed to talk like that?" Kaliene said through the walkie talkie.

"Shut up bitch!" Scott Steiner screams through the microphone.

"I have a boyfriend." Kaliene said.

"You need a man. Look at these peaks. You think that half black, half Mexican't is gonna take this on. Let me teach you the math. One Detrick Cyrus plus two Detrick Cyrus's doesn't even add up to the head of Scott Steiner's dick." Said Scott Steiner through Walkie Talkie, before an egg is thrown at Ray Kiran taking him down. The walkie talkie falls out of Ray Kiran's hand. The cameraman goes down. We cut to a classroom.

"It should've been Azriel." Jason Sabre shakes his head.

"Does this mean I can be the head of Security?" Azriel said.

"We're unsafe as is. I'm not trusting the guy that got tricked into a porta potty to keep me safe." Jason said

"I would have gotten out had you and Detrick not come back to save me. It was only a matter of time before I unveiled my secret badassary." Azriel said.

"It had already been a day and Malice begged us too. I wanted to leave you there." Jason said.

"We probably should've left him there for Malice's sake." Detrick said.

"Yo, Detrick, are you going to defend Kailene against Scott Steiner?" Jason asked.

"Why would I do that? He didn't call me a bitch." Detrick said.

"I'm glad that you dumped me after I beat you in basketball." Natalia said from the front of the class.

"You cheated!" Screams Detrick, standing up from his desk and pointing at her. The entire classroom looks at him like he's weird. "What? She did."

He shrugs as we see Mr. Chris Jericho sleeping at his desk hugging a bottle of Bubbly.

* * *

"**In the AMERICAN criminal justice system, MINORITY based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Los Angeles, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite HASHTAG squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories." **Sofia Reynoso narrates before we cut to Asher Darma and Ray Kiran on beds in the medical room. Asher's head is taped. Yul Bannok is seen, reading a magazine with Alejandro Espinoza on it, smiling. Suddenly the door opens as Mason Rivers walks in wearing a Spiderman costume with a Batman mask.

"Mon, what da hell are you wearing?" Yul Bannok asked.

"I didnt have the mask for my Batman costume so I used my Spiderman mask from fifth grade." Mason Rivers said.

"Second question. Why the batman from Batman and Robin? I can see your bat nipples mon. Dis be a family show. " Yul Bannok said

"That and Forever are the only Batman movies I've seen." Mason admits

"Get out. You don't get to be Batman." Yul said before Mason put his head down and walked out of the room. Suddenly, Malice walked in and pulled his phone out before holding it up like a boombox.

"MAAAAAALLLLIIIIIIIIIICE! HIT MY MUSIC!"

Hail to the king plays as Azriel walks in dressed as an officer in traditional blue cops uniform, holding a donut in his hand with coffee. He has blue hair taped to the side of his officer's hat

"Who are you dressed as?" Yul asked.

"Chief Wigum from The Simpsons. Probably the best cop in the history of Television." Azriel said.

"Why are you here?" Yul asked.

"To dramatically monologue to Asher and his Overweight Malice's body before I vow revenge against the gangbanger who shot him." Azriel explains

"Asher's not dead! He's just sleeping. And neither is Kiran. He's just tired from having to walk up here." Yul said.

"I WILL AVENGE THEM!" Azriel disregards Yul, who facepalms. Azriel turns his back to Yul.

"What are you doing now?" Yul asked.

"I'm taking this war to the halls. I'll find Asher's killer and take him to justice." Azriel said before leaving with Malice.

"Overdramatic much…." Yul states as Ray Kiran sits up.

"Is it Lunch time yet?" Ray Kiran asked.

"No." Yul said, before Kiran leans back in the bed and puts the sheet over him.

"I'm still injured." Kiran says

* * *

We to Alexis Espinoza in AV Room looking at the TV where Jazz Conway is seen discussing Azriel claiming revenge against all the school's drug dealers.

"This school will not survive. Win or lose, our halls will never be the same." A voice said as Alexis is at the teachers desk, her right hand runs her temple in frustration.

"This was never supposed to get this bad. We were supposed to sell drugs on the down low and the hall monitors were supposed to turn a blind eye. Now, they're all after us and Asher is laying in bed." Alexis said.

"He deserves it for trying to mess with our business." The voice said as Alexis looks at the TV screen that has a picture of a smiling Asher Darma in his uniform as Jazz is giving an update on Asher Darma's critical condition.

"I know. He was a good man. All he wanted to do was keep the halls safe. He was too nice for such a cold job. He should've know that trying to make the dirty underground go clean is impossible. " Alexis said, before the lights turned on. Alexis turned her head to see Sofia Reynoso standing there shocked.

"No spoilers but this guy being the shooter is a plotwist that no one wanted." Sofia said.

"I did what I had to do to ensure that our business is protected. " Alexis said. "Even hire him."

* * *

We cut back to Azriel leaning against a desk in Black and White with a toothpick in his mouth. Its in the same room as the cold open except the nameplate of Asher has tape over 'Sher' with 'Zriel' replacing it.

"Asher wasn't my friend. He was an awful officer who didn't let crime reign down on this forsakened school. He was the farthest this from a good guy that I can think of. But I need to be popular. I need to find Asher's killer and bring him to justice. Then I will be on the front cover." Azriel's voice over is heard as the actual Azriel just keeps leaning against the desk. Suddenly the desk tips over under Azriel's weight, sending him to the floor.

"Lord, are you okay?" Malice asked as we go back to color while Malice lowers the camera.

"I refuse to sell this injury. MAAAALLLLIIIIICE! Sell it for me." Azriel demands as he stands up. Malice sighs before laying down where Azriel was.

"Ow. I am in pain." Malice fakes, before Azriel shakes his head in shame.

"You must've eaten a Pussyboy and cheese sandwich with a side of Weaksauce. I would never cry like you." Azriel said. "Now get up and replay my recording so we can get a good shot for my movie."

"Sir." Malice stands up. "We have to go to Officer Darma's funeral."

"Why?! He's dead. Who cares? I'm the new Sheriff now." Azriel said.

"He died in the line of duty sir. We should show respect." Malice said.

"Fine but they better have snacks. " Azriel said.

* * *

We cut to the Cafeteria where all the tables have been moved out. Ray Kiran is seen next to the vending Machine with a backpack full of chips. There are pictures of Asher Darma all over the cafeteria as chairs are placed in front of a casket that Asher Darma is sleeping in. Natalia is on a headset, telling people to get into their places as DJ Kingston comes up to her.

"Hey, this is one hell of a funeral that you planned Natalia." DJ said, holding a bowl of something. "I brought Potato Salad."

"Give me that!" Azriel screams snatching it out of DJ's hand and pushing him to the ground. Azriel shoves his hand into the potato salad, grabbing some of it and shoves it in his mouth, before spitting it out on DJ. "This is gross. MAAALLLLLIIIIICE! Get this trash out of my face."

Azriel then throws the Potato salad right into Malice's face.

"Yes my lord." Malice said, before walking away with the bowl of potato salad attached to his face.

"Hey, my mom made that." DJ said, standing up with Potato Salad dripping down his face.

"Your mom makes potato salad as well as she makes children." Azriel said

"Forget you man. Let's go Natalia." DJ Kingston said.

"I'd rather talk to Azriel." Natalia said, causing DJ's jaw to drop.

"Ha, Ha, Ha. The ladies love the Az man." Azriel grins as DJ Kingston walks away defeated. Azriel then notices Natalia starting to walk the other way. "Where are you going? You want to flirt with me!"

"Sorry, I have a funeral to run." Natalia said. "I also, I lied just so DJ could stop bothering me."

"Listen, Asher is already dead. He lived a very sad life full of happiness. You should focus on me instead." Azriel said.

"He's not dead!" Yul said. That's when Kailene Star and Detrick Cyrus walked up to him. Kailene was crying as she hugged Yul.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." Kailene said.

"Yeah, if you need anything, I'm here for you." Detrick said.

"He's not dead mon and he's not my wife either." Yul said, dumbfounded at everyone thinking Asher is dead.

"I know. His spirit will live on forever." Detrick pats him on the shoulder.

"Everyone get to your seats, the service is about to start." Natalia said, shooing everyone to their seats. Natalia sat down next to Freddy and CJ.

"Hey man, you should take your hat off. Be respectful." CJ said to Freddy wearing his Fedora.

"Not until my hair grows back." Freddy said, before Detrick took his fedora from the seat behind, causing everyone to see his bad mohawk from the previous episode. "You dick!"

"Hey man, respect the dead." Detrick said, keeping the fedora away from Freddy, who was trying to reach over and grab it. Suddenly a roar of laughter is heard at the sight of Freddy's hairstyle.

"Hey, where's Jason?" Natalia asked Detrick.

"Probably hiding, now that I have become the law." Azriel bragged.

"You're not the new Sheriff." Detrick said.

"Yes I am and I will avenge Asher's death to prove it." Azriel said

Sher (Lion) begins to play as a shocked look comes across everyones face.

"No way…." Freddy said.

"It can't be…" Natalia said.

"It… It is!" Detrick said as the double door at the back of the cafeteria opens.

"Jinder Mahal! The Theodore Roosevelt of the WWE Championship." Azriel said as Jinder stepped into the Cafeteria. Everyone stands up as Mahal walks through the crowd and straight to the casket that Asher was laying in. Mahal then looks at the crowd, before stepping to the mic.

"Shanti! Shanti!" Mahal states, causing everyone to quiet down and sit. "This young man, who passed away, was like a son to me. I mentored him. All he wanted to do was bring peace and unfortunately, it was gang violence that ended his life. This young man had a dream. A dream for a better world. What does he get for this dream? He gets his entire life taken. It's unfair…."

"He's not dead." Yul said.

"We know Yul. We know." Freddy said, reaching over and rubbing his back apologetically.

"You're a brave man." CJ Hawk said

"I don't know who did this. All I know it is one of these drug dealers that are trying to ruin the youth of America for a quick buck. I will avenge you Asher. I promise." Jinder said.

"Wait a minute!" Azriel stands up. "I am the one who will avenge Asher's death."

"He's not dead. What are all of you smoking?" Yul asked, standing up him.

Suddenly in happened…. Almost in slow motion as something flew past Yul's hand. Azriel looked over at Jinder.

"MAAAAAALLLIIIIICE! Tell him to watch-" Azriel said, before Jinder is hit with a rock and sent to the floor. "Nevermind, you failure."

"Sorry my lord." Malice said as everyone then looks up at the top level of the Cafeteria. They see a man in a Richard Nixon mask. He gives the middle finger and then throws a rock through a picture of Asher Darma, before running away.

"Get that bastard!" Detrick points, before him, Freddy, CJ, Natalia, Yul Bannok, Malice and Azriel run up the stairs to the second level of the cafeteria. Ray Kiran is seen behind them slowly walking up the stairs with lays potato chips in his hand. The man in the mask runs through the double door.

"He went through that door." Detrick Cyrus points.

"We can see Detrick." Freddy said.

"You can see that but you can't see fake Jordans?" Detrick said

"You're the one who made me get this dumb haircut." Freddy said.

"I didn't make you do anything. You chose it and you looked in a mirror and you still thought it was a good idea." Detrick said.

"How was I supposed to know?" Freddy shrugs.

"Will you two shut up?" Natalia said, before Azriel pushes Natalia into Detrick and Freddy.

"I am sick of your awful monologue. You all talk too much. Now let me kill this villain, end the war on drugs and become a hero to the people. Get the camera Malice." Azriel said

"I got it sir." Malice said before lifting his camera. Azriel walks up to the double door and big boots it….

"Jason!" Everyone except Azriel said.

"That's my name." Jason said, before Azriel grabs him by the hoodie. "What are you doing?"

"You killed Jinder, you goddamn sexy junkie!" Azriel said before Jason Sabre pushes him off.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Jason said.

"Then explain the Nixon mask in your backpack" Azriel said.

"I dont have a Nixon mask in my backpack." Jason said before unzipping his backpack and showing them.

"Hey….what's that under that pair of panties?" Freddy said

"Panties?" Jason said to himself, before Freddy reaches in and pulls out a Nixon mask.

"You're working with the Underground?" Natalia said, shocked

"No. I'm not. I didnt shoot anyone." Jason said.

"Dude, you were the only one that wasn't at the funeral that's up here right now and you have the mask of the shooter, that you tried to hide." Detrick said.

"You're under arrest." Azriel said before diving onto Jason, taking him down.

"I didn't do anything! Police brutality! Someone call my lawyer! I'm a minority being abused by cops! Someone help!" Jason Sabre yells erratically.

"Man…. I thought he was one of the good ones." CJ Hawk said.

You thought he was a good one" Freddy said

"No. I was joking." CJ Hawk said.

* * *

We cut to the Janitors Closet where Jason Sabre is handcuffed and sitting in a chair. There is a single light on as Azriel paces back and forth.

"My, how the tables have turned. Once an iconic hero to these people has been exposed as a fraud and a criminal. You should've known that I would've found you. I am the Worlds greatest cop." Azriel said

"You are a cock." Jason raises a brow

"No, I said Cop." Azriel yells at him.

"I know. The world's Gayest Cock, I heard you." Sabre said.

"I am not Homosexual…"

"Is there something wrong with being Homosexual, you homophobe?" Sabre said.

"I will not further comment on this. MAAAAAALLLLIIIIICE!" Azriel said before Malice opens the door.

"Yes my lord?" Malice sticks his head in.

"Get me some duct tape. I am sick of hearing his back talk." Azriel said

"No Malice. Get me duct tape. I'm sick of his front talk." Jason said.

"I HATE YOU!" Azriel screams at Jason before leaving the Janitors closet, closing the door behind him. He looks at Malice. "What a dick that guy is."

"Are you sure he's the one who killed Commissioner Mahal and Sheriff Asher?" Malice said before Azriel slaps the taste out of his mouth.

"I'M THE SHERIFF NOW!" Azriel said, before Jazz Conway walks up.

"Azriel, what are you doing to Jason in the closet?" Asked Jazz, holding a microphone to his mouth.

"I have him handcuffed and in the perfect position to do what I want." Azriel smiles.

"He's going to sexually assault me! Just like the women from Hooters!" Jason shouts from the closet.

"Criminals don't get a say in anything." Azriel said.

"I might be black, Native American, Mexican and Asian, are you calling all those races criminals." Jason shouts from inside the closet.

"There you have it folks. Jason is going to be touched by a vigilante who thinks he's a cop and that said cop is a racist. Back to you Jay." Jazz Conway said.

"GODDAMMIT JASON!" Azriel shouts

"FUCK OFF RACIST." Jason said

"YOU ARE WHITE!" Azriel said

"ARE YOU ASSUMING MY SKIN COLOR BASED ON MY VOICE?!" Jason shouts back.

"QUIT MAKING ME THE VILLAIN! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED TWO BROWN PEOPLE" Azriel screamed back.

"I'M INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY, NOT GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN WHITE! ALSO THEY ARE PEOPLE NOT BROWN PEOPLE. THERES NO SEGREGATION. " Jason shouts back. Azriel groans loudly and walks away angry.

* * *

Alexis Espinoza is laying in bed when a rock hits her window. Alexis sits up. Alexis goes over to the window and opens it.

"Malice, why are you…. Oh no….. where is he." Alexis said looking at Malice before….

"MAAAAALLLLLIIIIICE! PLAY MY MUSIC!" Azriel screams, before Hail to the King by Avenged Sevenfold plays before Azriel jumps down from the roof above Alexis's and lands on Malice. He then stands up, wearing a Batman outfit complete with a Cape and mask.

"What are you doing here?" Alexis said.

"I know that Jason was the man who shot them both. This is game over for you my love." Azriel said looking down at the much smaller Queen of the School.

"Where is Jason?" Alexis said.

"In the closet." Azriel said.

"Why aren't you with him?" Alexis said.

"I spent too much time in that closet. It was time for me to come out." Azriel said.

"So, are you and Malice a thing now that you're out of the closet?" Alexis said.

"Of course." Azriel said. "We always have that play my theme thing going on."

Alexis actually laughs as Azriel is confused.

"Sir, I think you have put your foot in your mouth Again." Malice said, standing up, wobbling

"Malice…. Get off the balcony and quit talking about feet." Azriel said.

"Sir, you pushed the ladder over after you got up here. There's no way down." Malice said.

"Jump off and aim for the bushes." Azriel demands. Malice frowns.

"Use the front door Malice. I'm sure you can find your way out of my house." Alexis said, taking pity on Malice.

"Thank you." Malice bows to the Queen before going in her room and out the door.

"I probably should've told him about the attack dogs." Alexis said

"It's okay. That's what he gets for sneaking into your house like a thief and going into your room like a pervert when you're in love with his Seven Foot Tall sexy boss dressed as Batman." Azriel said.

"It was my room. Not your left hands." Alexis said

"I am a righty." Azriel notes.

"Azriel, go home." Alexis said.

"Not until we have an emotional talk where I must ponder Whether I should be the hero who takes Jason to justice or turn my back on the justice system and finally bed you." Azriel said.

"You're never going to bed me." Alexis said.

"Are you sure? The bed is right there." Azriel said. "If you want me to free Jason and help you with your drug trade maybe…."

"I'm not losing it to you." Alexis said. "Also…. I don't care about Jason."

"I don't care for him either. He's handsome but a total dick. Unlike me. I have been told that I am a sweetheart. " Azriel said.

"By who?" Alexis said.

"MALLLLLIIIICE!" Azriel replies.

"Sir, I'm being bitten by dogs right now." Malice's voice is heard.

"I WASN'T CALLING YOU IDIOT!" Azriel yells down.

"Right, so as I was saying…. I didn't hire Jason." Alexis said.

"Are you telling me that Jason was innocent all along and MAAAALLLLIIIICE, Detrick and all those other goofs except myself accused him wrongfully?" Azriel asked

"Yes." Alexis said.

"Then who did you hire?" Azriel

* * *

Jason is in the janitors closet watching the music video for Sandpaper by Fozzy on a laptop.

"That's the twentieth time I've seen this video. Now I'll never forget Sandpaper." Jason Sabre said.

"It's a great song." Chris Jericho said, panning over to him eating girl scout cookies.

"Why do those boxes have Sofia's face on them?" Jason said.

"What are you talking about? These are limited edition Samoas." Jericho said.

"The box says Sofias." Jason's mentions

"I paid fifty dollars for this box!" Jericho said.

"Why would you pay that much for cookies?" Jason asked.

"Listen Junior…. Eating Frozen dinners gets tiring." Jericho said.

"Yeah, but fifty dollars is a lot." Jason said

"Don't worry Junior. I took the money from Alan Riddles wallet." Jericho said.

"Dude, Alan Riddle fucking sucks." Jason Sabre said

"I don't even want him on the List of Jericho." Jericho said before the door opens. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

Suddenly Jericho is hit in the face with an water balloon. Jericho falls out of his chair and sells it like he just died.

"You bastard! That was my only company in this room. We watched Sandpaper together! At least show your face, George Bush." Jason said standing up still handcuffed. We pan over to see a person in a George Bush mask.

"I'm sorry that you had to get involved with this Drug war." The masked man said with a high pitched voice modifier.

"Chris Wolf?" Jason asked.

"No. It's a voice modifier." The man said.

"You can turn your voice lower. It would make the scene better." Jason said.

"My switch broke so I really can't change it and my mom doesn't want to buy me another one."

"Freddy?" Asked Jason

"No. My hair isn't that bad." The masked man said.

"What shoes are you wearing?" Jason asked.

"Jordan's with an E." He replies

"So either you're Detrick or Derrick." Jason said

"No! I'm not them!"

"You sound like a bitch. Are you Alan Riddle?" Jason asked.

"That's just mean." The masked man said.

"Okay, so who are you?" Jason asked.

"I am…. ."

He grabs the bottom of his mask and pulls it off to reveal himself….

"Sicario!"

"I'll be a son of a bitch" Jason said.

"I couldn't let the war on drugs happen." Sicario said.

"Wait… so how did you slip that Nixon mask in my backpack?" Jason said.

"Remember when I ran through the double door and you bumped into me. I switched backpacks." Sicario said

"Oh…. So that's why there was panties…. Wait…. Why did you have panties?" Jason asked.

"Um…. I'm auditioning for Ru Paul's Drag race on Sunday" Sicario said.

"Did you buy them?" Jason asked.

"No I stole them from Alexis." Sicario said.

"Wow… I'd high five you if I wasn't handcuffed…. Also if you weren't such a bald little bitch." Jason said

Sicario then tries to kick Jason who ducks and smashes the middle of his handcuffs against Sicarios head.

"Bitch, I'm the Ace of the school." Sabre then wraps the chain of the cuffs around Sicarios throat. But Sicario leans his head back, headbutting Sabre in the nose. Then he stomps on Jason's foot.

"ALLLLEEEEEXXXXIIIIISSSS! PLAY MY MUSIC!" Azriel shouts.

"No." Alexis is heard before entering the janitors closet with Azriel following

"Goddamit guys, we're running out of space in this closet." Jason said.

"Jason, there's more than enough room in the closet for me and you." Azriel said.

"Uh…." Sicario said.

"Ignore him. This is over Sicario. The drug war is over." Alexis said.

"What?! Are you stupid?" Sicario said.

"No, but you are." Alexis said

"Excuse me?" Sicario asked.

"I told her the truth." Azriel said.

"Truth?" Sicario asked.

"You see,so wooed Alexis with my charm and charisma-" Azriel said

"Wait…. Are you telling this story from my Point of view" Jason asked.

"LET ME HAVE MY STORY JASON!" Azriel said.

"Fine, but only because you're on my side for once." Jason said.

"Anyways, after wooing Alexis with my wit and clever lines-"

"I swear he thinks he's me." Jason chimes in.

"SHUT UP!" Azriel said

"Right, my bad." Jason said.

"Alexis was so wowed by the smooth talking, badass stallion that stood In front of him-"

"I swear this is a Alexis Espinoza and Jason Sabre fanfic." Jason said

"JASON QUIT INTERRUPTING ME OR ELSE I WILL TELL YOU LEGAL GUARDIAN!" Azriel said.

"Are you going to tell my legal guardian about the Police brutality and kidnapping that you did too?" Jason asked.

"No I will ignore that part." Azriel said.

"Just like how women ignore you." Jason said.

"Ignoring that. After I got into her head with my sex appeal, she revealed that Sicario was the hired gun." Azriel said

"So you snitched on me." Sicario asked.

"No. I didn't snitch. Azriel kept listing off names and noticed that I looked away when he said Sicario. Then he told me that you were auditioning to be a drag queen and stolen panties…. Which means, fuck the cops. I want you dead now." Alexis said.

"And then we banged." Azriel adds in

"That didn't happen." Alexis said

"You're not going to kill me." Sicario said before a Police Badge hit him in the head.

"What the hell?" Alexis said as Sicario fell down. Jason looks up.

"I thought you were dead." Jason said.

"Everyone did." Asher Darma said standing in the doorway wearing a cowboy hat like he's from Red dead Redemption. He has a toothpick in his mouth. "But Justice will never die."

"I told you he was alive." Yul said.

"Yul, I think Asher is alive." Ray Kiran said eating a churro with Sofia Reynoso right to him doing the same thing.

"Now Yul can be on more than one episode!" Sofia cheers.

Asher walks up to Alexis.

"Queen?" Asher said.

"Sherriff." Alexis greets.

"Let us call a truce for now and take this perverted man who dresses in the cross style to justice." Asher said.

"Deal." Alexis said shaking his hand

"I was supposed to be the hero! YOU WERE DEAD ASHER! DEAD! I SAW THE BODY!" Azriel rants.

"Maybe next time…. Naw, just kidding. I'll probably be the hero." Jason Sabre said.

"Well you are the protagonist." Sofia shrugs.

"Let's all go home and get ready for tomorrow

"I can believe that Sicario is so hated that he United the law and the Underground." Sofia said. "Wait I can believe it."

"Hey Jason, can I get my handcuffs back?" Azriel asked.

"Are you going to uncuff me?" Jason asked, before Azriel pulled the key out and uncuffed him. "Thanks."

Then Jason knees Azriel in the gut and takes the key, before handcuffing Azriel's hand to a chair.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Jason said, leaving with the keys.

"JAAAAASSOOOON" Azriel screams as he watches everyone leave as he's attached to the chair. Chris Jericho gets up and looks at Azriel. He hits him with a Judas Effect knocking him out.

"That Stupid idiot is too loud." Jericho said, before leaving

* * *

The next day, in homeroom Jason Sabre is looking at Detrick, Freddy and CJ unhappy.

"Listen Jason…. Its all Freddy's fault. I believed you." Detrick said

"What?! You helped cuff him." Freddy said.

"Well you posted it on Youtube." Detrick said.

"I took it down though. Mainly because everyone in the comments were making fun of my haircut…. Including you and mom." Freddy said.

"Dad posted a comment if you check the beyond the grave youtube." Detrick said

"You suck." Freddy said, before Alan Riddle stepped into the room.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the new Vice Principal…" Alan starts out before everyone boos. The boos turn to cheers as Kris Wolf enters the room with a laptop.

"YES! YES! YES!" Chants the entire classroom. Chris Wolf scowls from the back of the classroom.

"Oh no. It's not her. It's the laptop." Alan Riddle said as everyone stops.

"BOOO!" Goes the classroom as they throw paperbacks at Alan Riddle.

"Its not even a good laptop, it's a Toshiba!" Detrick complains

"No, its ToSHEba. I think they bought it from La Rebelion." Freddy said.

"Not the laptop. You see we have someone that is watching all of you from afar. This person is the anonymous Vice principal." Said Alan.

"He sounds like a creep." Jason said.

"MAAAAALLLLLIIIIIICE….. HELP ME DRAG THIS CHAIR IN." Azriel is heard saying before entering the room as Malice carries the chair that cuffed to Azriel's hand. Azriel walks right up to Sabre.

"Why Did you bring an extra chair? Your ass isn't that big?" Jason jokes

"Where are my keys?" Azriel demands

"Oh… I lost them." Jason said.

"How?" Azriel asked

"I was walking home and I saw a bird flying by and thought of how CJ is part bird. So I threw the key at it in an attempt to get its attention so I can reunite him with CJ. Unfortunately, I didn't get its attention and the key fell into an ocean.." Jason explains.

"Its okay man. I appreciate the thought." CJ Hawk said.

"I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE." Azriel shout before sitting in the chair cuffed to his hand. "See. Now I will sit here and block the view."

"The views Alan Riddle. You're doing me a favor." Jason said

"I HATE YOU!" Azriel said

**(Fade to black)**


	5. 4: Halloween Havok

We open todays episode with Malice standing outside a bathroom at Azriel's house.

"My Lord, do you need help in there with your costume?" Malice said

"I know what you're trying to do Malice. Quit trying to see my massive manhood, you pervert." Azriel said.

"That is not what I'm trying to do. It has been half an hour." Malice said.

"Beauty takes time! You would know if you weren't so ugly." Azriel said.

"I know sir, but this is my house and I really have to use the bathroom"

"You use your bathroom when I say you use your bathroom!" Azriel yells through the door.

"Yes sir." Malice lowers his head.

"MAAAAAALLLLLIIIIICE!" Azriel screams.

"What is it, my lord?" Malice said.

"Your mom's makeup has fallen into the toilet." Azriel said.

"How did that happen?" Malice asked.

"I threw it in there." Azriel

"Why?" Malice said.

"I can't use this. This makeup is from Rite Aid. I need something expensive. Go to Victoria's secret and buy me some." Azriel said.

"I can't lord, I have no money." Malice said.

"Check the royal funds." Azriel said.

"I am the royal funds. You spent my money on your suspenders." Malice said.

"IT WAS FOR THE COSTUME!" Azriel said

"Where am I going to find the money?" Said Malice.

"Don't you have a mother?" Azriel said.

"Yes." Malice said.

"Steal from her purse. She doesn't need money for cigarettes" Azriel said.

"My mother doesn't smoke sir." Malice said.

"IF YOU DON'T GET ME MAKEUP, YOU WILL CATCH THIS SMOKE!" Azriel screams.

"Okay sir." Malice dashes off.

We then cut to Malice standing in line at Victoria's Secret with women looking at him as he nervously stands there.

"This makeup isn't for me. It is for the future overlord of the World and mankind." Malice said, before noticing Detrick Cyrus, Jason Sabre, CJ Hawk, Freddy Escobar, and Kailene Star walking in. "Oh no."

"Is that Malice, buying makeup?" Detrick asked.

"Why would he do that? He's single." Freddy questions

"Maybe he's auditioning for the drag queen role. I heard that the original choice got arrested." Jason said.

"Wait….. Is that Mr. Jericho?" Asked Kailene pointing at Chris Jericho, trying on eyeliner.

"Oh no, Painmaker is back." Detrick groans.

"I prefer Rainmaker." CJ Hawk speaks up.

"You get an F!" Jericho yells from across the store.

"Aw man. My dad's giving me ten across the ass when he sees my report card." CJ sighs.

* * *

**(Sandpaper by Fozzy) **

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(The video opens to everyone standing very seriously in front of the school, except Asher Darma, who is smiling. He didn't get the memo.)

Sandpaper tears at my skin, grinding the state I'm in

(It shows Azriel grinding….meat at a butcher's shop as Asher Darma watches in horror.)

Millstone my heart it scrapes, grabbing the soul that bleeds within

(It cuts to Jason Sabre giving a flower to an Kailene as Detrick watches confused)

Abrasive wounds that never heal, bleeding emotions are hard to feel

(La Rebelion are shown trying to sell crack to Azriel.)

Evasive sounds of true bliss calling

(It then cuts to Sofia chasing MAAALICE down the hall with a gun)

Mauling your paramour's kiss revealed

(It then shows Chris and Scarlet going in for a kiss, but Asher Darma puts a barbed wire baseball bat, where did he get that, in between them and writes them tickets.)

Something happens when the dark meets the light

(Next, it shows The Ruffians and Yul Bannock smoking the good shit while Asher Darma sprays febreeze)

Something happens when you start up the fight

(It then cuts to a terrified Freddy Escobar and a confident Sofia Reynoso getting ready to fight)

Something happens when the sun turns to grey

(The fight is revealed to be a Rock, Paper, Scissors match. Sofia wins.)

Something happens when you scare the monsters away

(Azriel tries to hand Alexis flowers, but there is a bee in the flowers and it stings Azriel in the face.)

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(It cuts finally to the yearbook photo session with Jason in the middle and Azriel is trying his hardest to get in front of Jason. Asher Darma is still smiling while everyone else is watching the fight. Still hasn't gotten a memo. Then it cuts to Phoenix holding a sign that says 'WFA High School…. sorry')

* * *

We return to the homeroom, where Jason is once again, sitting on his desk as Chris Jericho is sleeping at his. Of course many people surround him.

"So Jason, are you going to the Halloween Bash?" Kailene asked.

"No and don't think about asking me out. I would never turn on my friend Detrick." Jason said.

"Thanks man, but I don't think she was trying to bang you." Detrick said.

"Why are you just letting him talk like that to me?" Kailene said, trying to start something over Jason's joke.

"It's not his fault that it sounded like you hit on him." Detrick shrugs, taking his friends side as Kailene rolls her eyes.

"You guys are dicks." Kailene said.

"You mean, have dicks." Jason shoots back to laughter.

"You know Jason, you don't have to be a sarcastic jerk all the time." Kailene said.

"Detrick, tell your girlfriend to quit trying to tell me how to live my life." Jason asked.

"Um…." Detrick said, not wanting to get in trouble with either. "Uh… Kailene, I think that Jason has the right to decide how he lives his life."

"Tell your best friend that the only reason he's not going to the Halloween Bash because he doesn't have a girlfriend." Kailene said.

"That has nothing to do with it. Detrick doesn't have a girlfriend and he's still going." Jason said.

"Uh….what?" Detrick said, knowing that this is going to get bad in a second.

"I'm dating him dummy." Kaliene said.

"I said GIRLfriend." Jason shoots back as everyone 'Ooh's' at his comment.

"You're getting really close, Ace." Kailene said, getting closer to Jason's face as we see Sofia taking bets in the background from classmates

"No you're getting close." Jason said, lightly pushing her back a few steps. "Social distancing, bitch."

"Detrick, do something." Kailene said, before noticing Detrick talking to Sofia,

"Twenty dollars on Jason. He's going to own her verbally and physically." Detrick said.

"Detrick!" Kailene said.

"Yo, bro. Can you have Sofia put me down for ten on Jason." Freddy said.

"I got you bro. Hey Kailene, you want to bet on Jason too?" Detrick asked.

"No!" Kailene said.

"I wouldn't bet on yourself. I don't put people over. Especially on the undercard." Jason said.

"I want to punch you right now." She scowls at the grinning Ace.

"Not the only thing you want to do to me." Jason winks.

"Detrick!" Kailene said.

"Sorry babe. I need the money. Go Ace Go!" Detrick said, before Jason jumps off the desk.

"Listen Kailene, I'm not going because I have other plans." Jason smiles.

"What are you up to?" Kailene raises an eyebrow.

"Me and CJ are going to Bray Wyatt's compound." Jason said.

"Wait, what? I thought we were going trick or treating." CJ Hawk said.

"I lied to your mom." Jason said.

"Man I wanted candy. Especially the free kind." CJ Hawk groans.

"Listen, I agreed to chaperone you for Fifty five dollars an hour. I get to decide what we're doing." Jason said, before we pan out to Alan Riddle.

"He's making more on Halloween than I am." Alan Riddle groans, putting his head down as he walks away. We cut back to the room where everyone is still surrounding Jason after his announcement of Halloween plans.

"Dude, Bray Wyatt is a creep. Why are you going to his compound?" Detrick said.

"To steal his lantern." Jason said.

"Why?" Detrick said.

"It'll make a great nightlight while fucking." Jason said.

"No seriously." Freddy said.

"No, I'm serious." Jason said. "Also, ebay dude."

"Man, why do I have to go and help steal from a cult leader?" CJ said.

"Because I'm babysitting you, so quit being a baby and come along with-" Jason is stopped

"MAAAALLLLLLIIIIIICE….. PLAY MY HALLOWEEN THEMED MUSIC!" Azriel said as Malice walks in with a VHS Cassette tape and boombox.

"Before I do this. I would like to formally apologize for everything you are about to witness." Malice said, before putting the cassette in and holding his head down in shame.

Suddenly 'Do the Urkel Dance' starts to boom.

"What the hell is this?" Freddy said.

"A song from a Black comedy." Detrick said

Suddenly Azriel walks in wearing a Steve Urkel esque outfit complete with suspenders, glasses and bow tie.

"Is he Steve Urkel?" Asked Freddy.

"Is he in Blackface?!" Asked Detrick, even louder as Sofia is in the background selling weapons such as Pitchforks and Steel Chairs.

"What are you talking about? This is brown paint on my face, not racist at all." Azriel said, pointing at his tasteless face.

"As a representative of the African American community, what the hell Azriel!" Jason said

"You're not black." Azriel said,

"What do you call this then?" Jason said, before pulling out a black Amex card. "Black cards matter, Azriel."

"Where did you get that?" Kailene asked.

"It doesn't matter where I got it. I'm not returning it. Speaking of which, return that shirt." Jason said, pointing at Kailene's shirt with a Twenty One Pilots logo on it. Detrick chuckles before Kailene looks at him, causing him to start whistling and moving away.

"Hey…..where's my credit card?" Alan Riddle is heard from the outside.

* * *

"This is so stupid!" Chris Wolf screams as he looks in a mirror, dressed in a child's sheep costume.

"You look adorable." Kris Wolf puts her hands on his shoulders while wearing a badass Wolf Costume.

"Why do you get to be a super badass wolf and I'm a sheep." Chris said, pulling away from his sisters grasp.

"It's a throwback to your costume when you were two." Kris Wolf said.

"I'm Fourteen!" Chris Wolf screams out.

"Now Now Christina. There's no need to throw a fit." Kris Wolf said.

"Don't use that name!" Chris Wolf screams before taking off his costume and mask so he's only in Black underwear. "I'm going as Jon Moxley! Give me the wrist tape!"

"I don't think going in your underwear is appropriate." Kris Wolf said as she hands Chris wrist tape. Chris puts the tape on, before heading to the door.

"Shut up and you know what. I'm not going with you or the rest of the chaperones to the party." Chris said, Before grabbing a faux Leather Jacket from the couch and putting it on. "I'm going alone, because I am a lone wolf"

Chris then opened the door to see Chris Jericho standing on his porch.

"Moxley!" Jericho shouts, before knocking him out with a Judas effect. Kris Wolf comes over.

"I guess he's taking a nap." Kris said.

"Want some Bubbly?" Jericho offers.

"Sure." Kris said.

"49.99, lady." Jericho said, before taking a swig and walking out. Kris looks down at Chris, before putting a blanket over him and a pocket knife under his arms, for him to cuddle with, before following Jericho.

* * *

CJ Hawk sits on Jason's couch, drinking Koolaid as the kids run around him.

"Man, Jason, how many kids do you have? And why are they all of different ethnicities?" CJ Hawk asked.

"I have no kids and they're all orphans." Jason said as he comes out of the kitchen with a flashlight.

"Oh I get it. They all were put up for adoption." CJ said, before all the kids stop.

"You deserve this." Jason shakes his head, before all the kids jump CJ Hawk, knocking him off the couch and beating him down. Jason looks down and takes a video. "This is going to get at least three likes on Youtube."

"Hey man help!" CJ Hawk said as he got hit over the head with a maraca. "Hey Pedro, I saw that."

"That was Raj." Jason states, before turning around and being startled over Reyna standing behind him. "I know that it's Halloween, but you don't have to put on your Michael Myers costume and try to scare me."

"You're not funny." Reyna deadpans

"Someone help!" CJ said. "Hey Emily, quit biting my leg."

"That's Zuri." Jason said, looking back for a second, before looking at Reyna.

"What are you planning?" Reyna said.

"What do you mean? I'm just taking a little black boy trick or treating." Sabre shrugs.

"You're the same age as him and he's slightly taller than you." Reyna said.

"Not where it counts." Jason says.

"Hey man, I just got hit there by Kofi!" CJ Hawk said.

"That was Apache." Jason said, looking back again, before turning back to Reyna.

"You're not going to the Halloween Bash." Reyna said.

"Yeah, because I'm taking Little Bill over here, trick or treating." Jason said.

"He doesn't even have a costume." Reyna said.

"Well, his Bill Cosby sweater isn't appropriate at the current time." Jason said.

"I was going as Stepdad Steve!" CJ Hawk said. "Ow, Bella that punch wasn't called for."

"That's Zeda." Jason said, looking back, before turning back to Reyna.

"You're up to something." Reyna said.

"I don't like that you think that I'm up to anything because of the way I look. These are the reasons why minorities have been oppressed and people don't get the opportunities that they deserve. Hawk, lets leave this ignorant swine here and leave for our trick or treating adventure." Jason said, before grabbing Hawk by the arm and pulling him out of the pool of children and out of the house.

"Wait, we're going trick or treating?" CJ said with a smile.

"No, you idiot! We're still going to steal Bray Wyatt's lantern. I just had to lie to Reyna. Listen, CJ, after this, I'm going to have the Whole world in my hands." Jason said.

"What about me?" CJ Hawk said.

"You get to stand next to the guy who has the whole world in his hands." Jason said.

* * *

We go to the Halloween Bash where people are dancing around. Chris Jericho, dressed as the Painmaker, is seen pouring a small bottle of vodka into the Punch bowl, before grabbing the entire bowl and starting to drink out of it.

"Hey Chris, the punch is for the students." Alan Riddle, dressed as Donald Trump speaks to his fellow chaperone.

"Who the hell are you?" Jericho asked.

"Alan Riddle." Alan Riddle said, before reaching into his back pocket. "Do you want to see the hat I made for this costume?"

"No." Chris Jericho said, before Alan shows him a 'Make High School Cool Again' hat. Alan then feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around to Jesus Garza dressed a Cyborg and Rey Aguayo dressed as Beast Boy cracking their knuckles.

"Oh hello young men. You must be dressed as the Terminator and Broccoli." Alan Riddle said.

"Hey holmes, wanna see something in the back." Jesus asked.

"Of course." Alan said, before looking at Jericho. "See, I'm cool with the illegals. I'm really good at keeping the borders safe in this school, aren't I?"

Jesus and Rey then lead Alan away, before hearing loud screaming.

"These criminals are assaulting me!" Alan Riddle screams off screen but no one cares.

Then Phoenix walks into frame with a sign that says 'Fake News' as Alexis dressed as Princess Jasmine and Sofia dressed as…. Nothing approaches Phoenix.

"Why didn't you want to dress up?" Alexis asked.

"I did. I'm my role model….. Myself." Sofia smiles, causing Alexis to laugh and Phoenix to hold up a 'lol' sign.

"Hey, Phoenix, what are you supposed to be?" Alexis asked, before Phoenix turns around to reveal that he has wings on his back.

"Oh…. a bird. I get it." Alexis said, before Phoenix shakes his head and points down to a stinger on his butt. "You're a bee."

"You might be a Bee, but I give this costume an A." Kris Wolf approaches it, putting a sticker with an A on it, over Phoenix's back.

"MAAAAAALLLLIIIIIICCCCCE!"

"Oh no." Alexis groans.

"PLAY MY MUSIC!"

Suddenly Malice walks in, embarrassed as he's in a sheep costume, causing people to laugh at him. Malice gets on his phone and plays Mary Had a little Lamb' as Azriel comes out dressed as Little Bo Peep. Everyone is stunned

"My beauty has taken their breath away." Azriel smirks, before Detrick Cyrus walks in with Kailene Star right behind them, dressed as Jokerand Harley Quinn from Suicide Squad, respectively.

"I don't know which of these two pairings I like less." Chris Jericho scowls as he drinks from the punch bowl.

"Azriel….what are you supposed to be?" Detrick asked.

"I'm Little Bo Peep. I just watched Toy Story 3 last night and I was inspired….. A silent, strong woman is what I need to be." Azriel said.

"Excuse me?" Kailene asked.

"You are none of those things." Detrick said.

"Are you talking to me or your bitch." Azriel said, laughing to himself. "Give me five Malice."

Malice raises his hand with his hand down, ashamed of his costume, before high fiving Azriel.

"You're talking real big for a guy who's wearing a dress." Detrick said.

"You're just mad, because you don't have the legs to pull it off." Azriel claims. "That's why you had to compensate by dressing as the best version of the Joker."

"No, I dressed as him, because Kailene wanted to match and also wanted to be Harley Quinn. I wanted to dress as Michael Jordan. The guy who basically made Jordans." Detrick said.

"Hey….wait one second." Azriel said.

"What?" Detrick said.

"YOU ARE A RACIST!" Azriel screams out.

"What?" Detrick asked

"You are in white face!" Azriel claims, over the white make up Detrick is wearing.

"That's not a thing." Kailene said.

"If I can't dress like Urkel because I'm not black. You can't dress like the best joker because you're not white. It is only fair." Azriel saidd

"How about no." Kailene says.

"I will not allow your racism toward my people." Azriel said.

"We're not racist." Kailene said.

"Yes you are." Azriel said

"I'm white too!" Kailene responds.

"Who is more racist than white people?!" Azriel yells. Azriel turns around and smirks proudly at his 'victory', "I HAVE DEFEATED THIS RACIST WENCH IN WAYS THAT JASON NEVER COULD!" He exclaims before Kailene rips his dress off. Azriel covers his chest like a woman.

"I didn't need to see that." Alexis comments.

"Still not average down there." Sofia comments

"MAAAAAAAAAAALICE! GET ME A TOWEL!" Azriel says. "Also, I took a shower. It's called Shrinkage!"

* * *

We cut to the outside of the Wyatt Compound with Jason Sabre and CJ Hawk standing in front of it. "Y-Y'know it's not too late to go trick or treating, right?" CJ stutters, terrified.

"Stop being a pussy. No wonder your dad wanted a daughter." Jason says before walking up the porch. CJ reluctantly follows. On the porch, they see a rocking chair with a lantern sitting on it.

"Jason, there's the lantern! Get it so we can go!" CJ begs.

"That's not the right lantern,Chicken Little." Jason comments before a hologram comes out of the lantern. The hologram is Princess Leia. "What's up?"

"Save us, Jason! You're our only hope!" Leia says as CJ Hawk leaps backwards from fear as Jason is unfazed.

"A g-g-g-ghost!" CJ stutters.

"It's a h-h-hologram." Jason mocks, before slapping him on the back of his head. "That's just a cheap CGI Effect. Bray knows we're here."

CJ Hawk looks up at house and points up.

"Jason!" He shouts, causing Sabre to look up and see Bray Wyatt standing on the roof. Suddenly, despite not raining at all, thunder hits and Bray disappears. "Man, can we just go! I don't wanna die!" CJ whines.

"Remember what I said about being a pussy? This is the perfect time to start taking that advice." Jason says.

"Yo Wyatt" Jason picks up the lantern as he dramatically pauses. "we're here"

Jason then kicks the lantern off the screen+before thunder strikes again as CJ gets closer to Sabre.

"Man, we're in deep shit Jason" CJ Hawk said. "You're going to get me killed"

'Maybe." He shrugs. "I mean you could live. The black guy always dies first and since both of us are that, I have a chance of getting killed first."

"Jason…. You're not-"

"No time CJ." Jason cuts him off. "Let's get the lantern"

* * *

We return to the party where Alexis Espinoza is watching as Chris Jericho is hitting Alan Riddle with a Kendo Stick as he hangs from the rope at the top of the Gym's auditorium.

"Let me down!" Alan said. "I am the home economics teacher."

"Will you please Shut….the hell….. Up!" Jericho delivers another kendo stick shot to the head, half drunk as he pulls out a flask from under his fedora and takes a sip. Alexis laughs as Natalia walks up to her, dressed as Dora the Explorer

"That wasn't part of my decoration plans." Natalia points.

"I think it's improving the atmosphere." Alexis said.

"Is, Mr. Jericho drunk." Natalia asked.

"I'm sure he's fine." Alexis said.

"What's in the flask?" Natalia asked, before turning right into the fourth wall and stealing a bit from her costumes show. "Do you know what's in the flask?"

"Why are you talking to Phoenix like that?" Alexis asked as we pan away to see Phoenix holding a sign that says 'Alcohol'.

"MAAAAALLIIIIIIIIIIICE!"

"Oh no. Not again." Alexis facepalms, before Malice walks into the scene with his phone, dressed as Boots from Dora.

"Oh, hey Boots." Natalia waves as Malice lowers his head even more.

"I apologize, Natalia, because this is canonically wrong, but I work for your rival now." Malice explains.

"PLAY MY MUSIC!"

What does the Fox Say by Ylvis plays as Azriel enters, dressed as Swiper complete with half his face covered by a blue cloth mask and a bushy fox tail attached to his ass.

"Oh no, it's Swiper and he's going to steal Mr. Jericho's flask!" Natalia said.

"Are you kidding me." Alexis said, not believing how serious Nattie's taking it.

"I will be the new Painmaker!" Azriel claims.

"Swiper no swiping!" Natalia said.

"That will not stop me." Azriel said, before trying to take a step, only to find himself frozen. "What is this?"

"Swiper no Swiping." Natalia said, putting her hand out as Azriel backs up.

"I have no control over my legs." Azriel said in shock.

"Swiper No Swiping!" Natalia said, before Azriel jumps out of frame.

"MAAAAALLLLLIIIIIIICCCCE!" Azriel screams before we hear him hitting the floor.

"What the hell did I just witness." Alexis said in complete shock

"Oh Alexis, I see that you have dressed as my romantic interest." Asher said, dressed as Aladdin (The animated one)

"Asher….. Put a shirt on." Alexis said.

"I can not. I am committed to the role of Aladdin, the Thieves Prince." Asher said.

"Prince of Thieves." Alexis corrects.

"That's what I said." Asher said.

* * *

"I don't trust a guy who leaves their door open for teenage boys to just walk into their house." CJ Hawk says as he looks around the living room with Jason.

"Are you talking about Bray or your uncle?" Jason asked.

"What?" CJ said.

"Nothing, I'll tell you when you're older." Jason said, before approaching a piano. "There's no way that he knows how to play this."

"I don't know man. I saw this kid with a blanket play a piano." CJ said.

"Isn't that a kid from Peanuts?" Jason said.

"Uh….. maybe." CJ said, before being startled by the piano keys moving. "It's a ghost Jason!"

"No, it's a prewired mechanism" Jason said lifting up the hood of the piano to reveal such. "Bray's really bad at scaring me off."

"He's doing a good job with me though." CJ said. "Maybe I should leave."

"No, you're staying." Jason said.

"Why?" CJ asked.

"Because your mom is paying fifty five dollars an hour, so I have to watch over you." Jason said.

"You're doing a lousy job." CJ said

"I never said I'd keep you safe." Jason said.

* * *

"I'm glad La Rebelion sold us these costumes." Kailene said.

"Yeah and all it cost was two hundred dollars and the guarantee that no one would buy this costume." Detrick said, before his face dropped into a frown. 'Are you kidding me Freddy"

"Are you kidding me Freddy?! How about, Are you kidding me Detrick?!" Freddy said, also dressed as Jared Leto's Joker with Caesar right now to him, dressed as Harley Quinn, complete with a blond wig in pigtails and booty shorts that seem uncomfortable for a man his size to be wearing.

"Where did you get this idea from? Detrick, did you tell him about our costume idea?" Kailene said, furious.

"No, I didn't. Also….why is Caesar your Harley?" Asked Detrick.

"I have no circulation in my lower area." Caesar said.

"I have no girlfriend so this is the best I can do." Freddy said.

"Who gave you this idea?" Detrick asked.

"Sofia was showing me the costume and I saw it, and when I did, I could only think one thing. Man, that costume would look good on me." Freddy said. "So I paid La Rebelion Two hundred and fifty bucks and a guarantee that no one else would buy this costume.."

"You're such a jackass." Detrick groans. "You need to change."

"No, you need to change." Freddy said.

"I'm telling mom." Detrick said.

"Go ahead, I'm her favorite." Freddy said.

"You're not even in her top five." Detrick said.

"Get him Detrick, get him!" Kailene cheers on.

"MAAAAAAALLLLLLIIIIIICCE! PLAY MY MUSIC!"

Malice shows up with his phone and plays Heathens by Twenty One Pilots. Malice of course is dressed as Harley Quinn with his hair actually dyed and perfect make up. He is also in a 'daddys little Malice' top and booty shorts. Suddenly Azriel appears in his own Jared Leto Joker Costume.

"Wait a minute, I thought I was going to get back at Detrick by dressing in the same costume and wearing it better." Azriel said.

"I wore it better than him." Freddy said.

"MAAAALLLLIIIICE!" Azriel said. "Why did you pay La Rebelion three hundred dollars for this costume and a guarantee that no one else would buy this costume when it was a lie?"

"My lord, you saw Detrick earlier so you should've known they were lying and when I pointed it out, you yelled-"

"SHUT UP MAAAAALLLLLIIIICE! This is a party and you are pooping on it with your boring stories." Azriel said.

"That quote exactly." Malice sighs.

* * *

CJ Hawk and Jason Sabre are seen upstairs, searching around. Jason is still unfazed while CJ looks like he has aged twenty years from stress.

"Man, I gotta pee. This house is too scary." CJ whines.

"It's right there." Jason points at the dark bathroom.

"Man, there's no light! I ain't going in there!" CJ bitches.

"There is a lightswitch. Right there. It's so easy to reach." Jason sighs. "Do you not know how to flip on a switch, CJ?"

"Alright fine but, can you stand guard outside?" CJ begs.

"Fine." Jason continues walking. "Now go and piss, before I beat the piss out of you."

CJ Hawk walks into the bathroom as Jason stands in front of the bathroom.

"I'm leaving the door open, so don't peek." CJ said.

"What if there's a ghost in there." Jason asked.

"Nevermind man. Peek all you want." CJ said.

"I'm good bro." Jason said. CJ takes a deep breath and turns the light on, only to see Bray Wyatt sitting on the toilet.

"BRAY!" Screams CJ, causing Jason to run into the bathroom and see Wyatt.

"Hello Jason." Bray said, from the toilet. He raises the lantern. "Looks for this?"

"Jason, I need some pants quick!" CJ said.

"Give me the lantern!" Jason said.

"Follow the Buzzards Jason." Bray said, before flushing the toilet, which then causes the lights to go out and the turn back on to reveal that he's gone.

"He didn't even wash his hands." Jason said.

"Hey look, pants." CJ Hawk said, smiling. Jason then noticed something outside.

"Buzzards." Jason said, seeing a flock of them gathering up outside. Jason opens the window as he notices them flying upward. Jason sticks his head out and looks up to see them heading for the roof. "This is the end, CJ."

"Man these pants are too loose, do you have a belt Jason?" Asked CJ.

"CJ, there's more important things at stake. Like a lantern." Jason said.

"So why are we doing this for a lantern again?" CJ asked.

"You wouldn't understand." Jason said.

"The money isn't worth it." CJ Hawk said

"It's not money CJ. That was just a lie." Jason said, before walking out

* * *

Asher Darma dressed as Aladdin, Yul Bannok dressed as Abu, and Ray Kiran dressed as the carpet.

"Mon, why am I dressed like a monkey?" Yul Bannok asked.

"It is so us three best friends can match." Asher said.

"Sofia has the best costume right?" Ray Kiran said.

"She doesn't have a costume mon." Yul said, when Sofia was passing bye with Alexis.

"I'm dressed as my role model." Sofia said.

"Why is your role model yourself?" Yul said.

"Because I am a strong independent Latina woman who doesn't need no man or teenage boy dressed as a monkey." Sofia said, snapping her fingers

"Wow, she's so cool." Ray Kiran said, before the lights went out

"MAAAAAAALLLLIIIIICE!"

"We're doing this bit again?" Sofia said.

"PLAY MY INSTRUMENTAL THAT WILL WIN THE HEART OF PRINCESS ALEXIS."

"No it won't." Alexis said as a spotlight shines on the entrance where Malice is standing, painted in all blue like the genie.

"I should be singing this song, but lord Azriel wanted a musical number." Malice said, before playing the instrumental for Prince Ali. Suddenly the lights come out as Azriel opens the door, dressed as Aladdin as Prince Ali.

"This is the infringement of gimmicks!" Asher Darma said as Azriel pushes Malice out of the way beginning to sing.

"**King Azee! Gorgeous is he!**

**FuckyaSabre**

**Going-to-Flex, Show some respect**

**Down on one knee"**

"You're good at that." Freddy said toward Kailene, before getting punched in the shoulder. "Not you, Caesar."

"That's how I pray." Caesar said as he stands next to Kailene

"Sorry." Kailene said

"**Ladies please stay calm**

**I don't know who he is, but fuck Salem**

**Then come and meet his spectacular Cult-er-eeee"**

"Wait…. That's not a word." Chris Jericho said.

"He's being creative." Kris Wolf said.

"**King Azee! Sexy is he!**

**FuckYaSabre!**

**Stronger than Ten Jason esque Men, definitely"**

"He's lucky Jason didn't show up." Detrick said.

"Don't worry, I'll post the video on Instagram." Sofia said, recording.

"**He faced Galloping whores!**

**A Hundred Good Guys with Swords**

**Who sent those two-shoes to their lords**

**Why Prince Azee!"**

Suddenly the instrumental stops.

"What happened?!" Azriel asked before seeing Natalia holding Malice's phone.

"You're ruining the party." Natalia said.

"I'm making it better!" Azriel said

"People are leaving." Natalia said.

"To buy me flowers for my beautiful performance" Azriel said.

"That was as beautiful as your Old town road performance." Alexis said.

"You still want to bang me right?" Azriel asked.

"I never wanted to nor do I ever intend to." Alexis said.

* * *

We return to Jason Sabre standing on the roof, with CJ Hawk hugging the chimney like his life depended on it.

"Man, I better not fall!" CJ Hawk said as Jason stands on the roof. The wind blows into Jason's hair slightly moving it.

"He's here." Jason said, before thunder hits again and Bray Wyatt appears on the roof in his rocking chair.

"I've been waiting for you." Bray said as a familiar song plays in the background.

**Catching flies**

**In his mouth.**

"I was up here first. If anything, I was waiting for you." Jason said, taking a couple steps closer.

**Tasting freedom **

**while he dares**

"Jason, be careful! I need you to take me back. I don't know the directions back." CJ Hawk said

"Don't worry, you'll be back home soon." Jason Sabre before throwing his leather jacket at CJ, who catches it with his head.

**Then crawling back, back to the top, top of the**

**Stairs... of the stairs**

Bray sets the lantern down and gets off his rocking chair. Slowly approaching Jason. Sabre with no fear in his eyes. Bray, trying to instill said fear into them.

**He won't see the sun again for years to come**

**He's broken out in love.**

"I've waited a long time for you Jason." Bray said as the two finally came face to face.

"Shut up Herbert." Jason said.

Then it happened. The music stopped. A shovel hit Bray in the back of the head.

"God dammit Reyna!" Jason shouts as Bray crumples down.

"You are so stupid Jason!" Reyna screams at him.

"Thank god you're here to save me….. I mean us." CJ said in happiness.

"I was going to beat him up like a badass in a dramatic fight scene and you ruined it!" Jason said

"You're a moron. This guy is a creep and could've killed you." Reyna said pointing down at Bray, before thunder hits again, scaring CJ so bad that he hide inside the chimney. While also startling Reyna and almost making her trip on the roof only for Jason to catch her.

"Are you okay?" Jason asked.

"Hey….. where's Bray?" CJ Hawk said, pointing at where Bray once was.

"Where did he go?" Jason asked.

"I'm going to call the cops." Reyna said.

"Why. We broke in and entered his house and we got the lantern." Jason holds it up. "Add in the fact that me and CJ are minorities, we'll probably be arrested."

"I doubt that, but we can't let a psychopath like him walk." Reyna said.

"Maybe another day." Jason said.

"Hell no! We're not doing this ever again!" CJ Hawk said.

"Well guys, lets go to the Halloween Bash so I can show this off." Said Jason.

* * *

Mason Rivers walks into the party dressed in a white hood.

"Boo!" Mason said to Detrick, trying to scare him.

"Dude?! What is wrong with you!" Detrick said.

"What?" Mason asked.

"I know Azriel was in blackface in class earlier, but fuck dude, he's an idiot, so I can excuse it. You should have enough sense to know that the KKK isn't OKKK." Detrick said.

"What are you talking about? I'm a ghost." Mason said as everyone looks at him. "I'm serious, guys."

"Alright Junior, get the hell out." Jericho said, disgusted.

"No, I swear. I can't afford a costume so I just put a white sheet over my head." Mason said.

"Do you know what happens when you dress offensive?" Jericho asked, before pulling out a clipboard and pen.

"No…. No… No." Mason begs.

"YOU JUST MADE THE SUSPENDED LIST!" Jericho said as everyone cheers loudly. Suddenly Jason Sabre pops out of nowhere and delivers A Final Blow (RKO) out of nowhere to a even bigger applause.

"I HAVE RETURNED WITH THE LANTERN!" Jason Sabre said holding it up to a bigger pop.

"So why does Jason really want the lantern anyways?" CJ asked Reyna.

"It's not to sell on Ebay. Bray Wyatt's dad, IRS, took that lantern as collateral many years ago from my grandmother. Jason wanted it back for her." Reyna said.

"Man, what a good guy" CJ Hawk said.

"Don't tell anyone though" Reyna says

"MAAAAALLLLIIICCCE! PLAY MY MUSIC!"

"Well, one last time for the road." Alexis said.

"He better hurry up. We're almost out of time." Sofia said as Malice walks out with his phone, dressed as CJ Hawk. Weight of My Pride plays,

"That's a sick song." Jason Sabre said, before seeing Azriel come out dressed as Jason Sabre. "Uh…."

"GODDAMMIT MAAAAAALLLLIIIIICCCE! WHO LET THIS MAN GET A BETTER JASON SABRE COSTUME THAN ME!?" Azriel shouts in rage.

"I'm the real Jason." Jason Sabre said.

"No, the real Jason is trying to steal the Green Lantern from some Husky creep. Your costume is spot on. You're almost as sexy as him." Azriel said.

"Thanks." Jason said. "You're almost as… one-sixteenth as good look as him."

"This turned out to be a good Halloween. No one got hurt." Kris Wolf said as Alan Riddle is swinging back and forth behind her from the Gym rope.

"The Halloween of Jericho was a success….. Trick or treat it up MAAAAAN." Jericho brags, before Chris Wolf enters dressed as Jon Moxley and eats another Judas effect. Freddy and Detrick are both in their Joker costumes looking down at Chris.

"Well…. That put a smile on my face." Freddy shrugs. "Hey Detrick, how much did you pay for your costume."

"Less than you." Detrick said

"I hate La Rebelion" Freddy said.

"We don't like you either." Alexis said from a distance.


	6. 5: Party at the Mansion

Alan Riddle is seen walking out of his house in a pink bath robe with fluffy bunny slippers. He raises his arms stretching them out, before bending down to pick up a newspaper.

"Local minority defeats Bray Wyatt on Halloween." Alan Riddle reads, before turning his head to see Mrs. Rosalinda stepped out. Alan waves. "Hello, Mrs. Rosalinda. How is Reyna doing?"

"Mr. Riddle, if you are going to wear a robe and ask about my granddaughter, please put some underwear on." The lovely elderly woman said. Alan looks down and closes his robe, before tying it.

"I'm sorry." Alan said. "So did you get any mail today?"

"Yes. Jason and Reyna were invited to a party at the Espinoza Mansion." She reads.

"A party…. Will there be parental supervision?" Alan Riddle asked.

"Of course not." Rosalinda said, with absolutely no care.

"Why are you taking this lightly? They could be drinking alcoholic beverages or having sexual relations. You should be freaking out." Alan Riddle said.

"Jason and Reyna are responsible. I trust them." Rosalinda said.

"I would never trust Jason or a teenage girl. Or a teenage girl around Jason for that matter." Alan Riddle said. "Also think of all the other children. I need to protect them. When is this party?"

"On Friday." She said.

"Friday. That's the most sexually active day there is!" Alan Riddle then runs into his house, leaving Mrs. Rosalinda alone. Reyna steps out from the door.

"Is Alan gone?" Reyna asked.

"Yes, why?" Rosalinda said.

"Because he always waves at me and his bush down there is popping out of his robe. He needs to shave" Reyna said.

"He could be a wookie with all that hair. I don't know why he doesn't shave all that and cover up his receding hairline with it. He just needs some glue." Rosalinda said, before Jason walks out the door and past both. "Someone's ready for school."

"Hell no. I heard that Natalia made cupcakes." Jason Sabre said. "I need to get some, before Ray Kiran shows up and eats them all."

"It's six AM. That's too early for sweets." Reyna said.

"Don't care, tooth fairy." Jason shrugs.

* * *

**(Sandpaper by Fozzy) **

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(The video opens to everyone standing very seriously in front of the school, except Asher Darma, who is smiling. He didn't get the memo.)

Sandpaper tears at my skin, grinding the state I'm in

(It shows Azriel grinding….meat at a butcher's shop as Asher Darma watches in horror.)

Millstone my heart it scrapes, grabbing the soul that bleeds within

(It cuts to Jason Sabre giving a flower to an Kailene as Detrick watches confused)

Abrasive wounds that never heal, bleeding emotions are hard to feel

(La Rebelion are shown trying to sell crack to Azriel.)

Evasive sounds of true bliss calling

(It then cuts to Sofia chasing MAAALICE down the hall with a gun)

Mauling your paramour's kiss revealed

(It then shows Chris and Scarlet going in for a kiss, but Asher Darma puts a barbed wire baseball bat, where did he get that, in between them and writes them tickets.)

Something happens when the dark meets the light

(Next, it shows The Ruffians and Yul Bannock smoking the good shit while Asher Darma sprays febreeze)

Something happens when you start up the fight

(It then cuts to a terrified Freddy Escobar and a confident Sofia Reynoso getting ready to fight)

Something happens when the sun turns to grey

(The fight is revealed to be a Rock, Paper, Scissors match. Sofia wins.)

Something happens when you scare the monsters away

(Azriel tries to hand Alexis flowers, but there is a bee in the flowers and it stings Azriel in the face.)

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(It cuts finally to the yearbook photo session with Jason in the middle and Azriel is trying his hardest to get in front of Jason. Asher Darma is still smiling while everyone else is watching the fight. Still hasn't gotten a memo. Then it cuts to Phoenix holding a sign that says 'WFA High School…. sorry')

* * *

We return to Detrick and Freddy trying to hold Jason back as Ray Kiran sits in a chair with frosting all over his face.

"You fat piece of crap. You ate all of the cupcakes. Selfish obese little doughboy!" Jason rants.

"You can have the wrappers." Ray Kiran offers.

"I don't want paper. Shove em where the sun doesn't shine." Jason Sabre says, before Kiran put them in his shirt. Jason stops his anger for a second. "Well…. You did do what I said."

"Jason, I can bake some more when I go to Mexico and get some more of my secret ingredients." Natalia Rodriguez said.

"What do you put in them? Everyone goes crazy whenever you sell them." Freddy said.

"Love." Natalia said.

"What do you know about that?" Detrick asked, a little salty.

"You broke up with me over a basketball game." Natalia said.

"You cheated!" Detrick points at her.

"She beat you fairly bro." Freddy said.

"Did you drug my brother or something?" Detrick asked.

"No, she didn't." Freddy said.

"Hey, are you going to Alexis's party?" Jason asked.

"Yeah." Detrick said.

"Wait, what party?" Freddy asked, before Jason, Detrick and Natalia looked at each other, figuring something out.

"Oh…. um…. There's no party." Detrick lies.

"No seriously, what party guys?" Freddy asked again.

"Party? Like Party City. Man that's a great store. You should go there and buy birthday hats." Jason said, trying to dance around the conversation.

"Natalia, tell me about the party." Freddy asked.

"Uh…. okay. Alexis didn't invite you, but the rest of us are going to the party at her dad's mansion." Natalia admits.

"What do you mean I'm not invited? The party doesn't start until I walk in." Freddy said.

"Uh…. remember during Alexis's fifth birthday when you decided the party didn't start until you walked in." Detrick said

_Flashback_

A five year old Alexis is sitting at a table with an entire child version of our cast surrounding her as a large cake is stacked up.

"Wow, seven layers of cake." Jason said in awe.

"That's almost as tall as Azriel." Detrick said as Azriel is seen standing up, only six feet tall despite being five years old.

"Nothing is bigger than me. I am the big dog." Azriel said.

"No you're not." Jason said.

"Yes I am, you adorable little twerp." Azriel said looking down at Jason Sabre, before getting kicked in the shin by the Ace. "Ow!"

"Hey, shut up, before I shoot both of you." Sofia yells as she holds up a 9mm and points it at the two.

"Why do your parents let you carry a gun? You're five!" Jason asked.

"Um…. my parents don't care." Sofia shrugs, without a care in the world, before Freddy jumped onto the table.

"Oh no…." Alexis face palmed.

"Happy Birthday to you!" Freddy sings. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Alexis….. Happppppppppppyyyyy birthdaaaaaaay toooooo yoooooooou! Thank you! Thank you! Hold your applause please"

He bow to absolutely no response until Five year old CJ Hawk throws a remote at his face,

"Boo! You Stink!" CJ said as Freddy rubs his head.

"You guys suck." Freddy said, before turning around and kicking the cake over. Everyone immediately surrounds Freddy, none of whom are happy. "Wait guys…. Can we talk about this?"

_End Flashback_

"I still think that I sounded good and should've gotten a standing ovation." Freddy said.

"You sucked." Jason said.

"No I didn't." Freddy argues, before Jason steals a megaphone from Asher Darma, who is in his officer uniform and walking by at the time.

"Excuse me. Does anyone remember Freddy's performance of Happy Birthday during Alexis's fifth birthday? Was he any good?" Jason asked into the megaphone.

A loud "No" is heard, before Sabre looks back at Freddy.

"These people still stink." Freddy crosses his arms. "But I don't get why I'm not invited."

"Dude, that's just the tip of the iceberg. You're a pain in the ass at social events." Detrick said

"Am not." Freddy said, before noticing Jesus Garza walk up to the group.

"Hey Fred, this is for you." Jesus said, handing him an envelope. Freddy smiles as he takes it.

"I'm assuming it's an invite." Freddy said proudly, before opening the letter. "You are cordially invited to fuck off and not come to my party."

Freddy frowns as Detrick and Jason laugh at the uninvited teen.

"This is bullshit!"

"Naw man. This is your life." Detrick rags on as Freddy has a vein popping out of his head.

* * *

Alan Riddle is seen wearing a wig of a perm and wearing a Linkin Park T-Shirt and Zipper pants. He also has a knockoff Apple Watch which is a broken Apple watch with Duct tape as the strap and holding a scooter. Sofia Reynoso is seen behind the bleachers selling weed to the Ruffians.

"Hey look, it's Alan Riddle as a cool youth!" Alex Drake points out, noticing him approaching .

"No, he has hair. He might be Alan Riddle's son though." Ricky Vasquez ponders.

"No one would reproduce with him. I don't even think two people reproduced to create him." Sofia Reynoso said.

"Maybe Alan is one of those sea men that you add water to." Jaxon Caruso predicts.

"Sea Man or Semen, it's still a waste." Sofia shrugs.

"Yippie Yay Yippie Yo. It's me. A Hippity Hoppity Bro!" Alan Riddle goes for a fist bump from Jaxon.

"No thanks." Jaxon said, before leaving with the Ruffians.

"Enjoy eating your Maru-jew-Anna." Alan Riddle said.

"You don't eat it." Sofia shakes his head.

"Of course, I'm just telling a joke. I'm hip, yo. Just like all the kids, including you. My name is Nick Jackson. I'm a young buck who's ready to fuck." Alan Riddle said.

"Go to Alessia Perez's corner." Sofia points away.

"No, no. I'm not here for that. I'm here for that Super sweet, Super kicking Party invitation." Alan Riddle said.

"The one at Alexis's house?" Sofia asked.

"Yeah. And I'm going to fuck there like all the other cool kids. I'm also going to Snort the weeds and drink alcoholic beverages like wine coolers. Much like my fellow kids." Alan Riddle said

"Uh….. You know that we all know it's you Alan." Sofia said.

"I'm not Mr. Riddle. I have a fresh hairdo." Alan Riddle said, before Kris Wolf approaches.

"Hey Alan, your students are waiting for you." Kris Wolf said.

We cut to Alan Riddles Class where a Stripper is stripping on the teachers desk as Jason Sabre and Detrick Cyrus are in the front row of the show with the rest of the class.

"Now this is sex ed with ." Jason Sabre said

"Jason, this is home economics." Detrick said.

"Who gives a shit what it is. I locked your girlfriend in a broom closet and now you enjoy the show without worry." Jason Sabre said.

"Thanks bro." Detrick high fives him.

We hear bashing of a door outside the room

"DETRICK! DETRICK! DETRICK OPEN THE DOOR!" Kailene yells

We cut back to Alan, Sofia and Kris Wolf.

"I don't know who that is." Alan Riddle said, but Kris Wolf didn't believe him.

"Um…. Jason is teaching sex ed to the other students." Kris informs.

"JASON!" Alan nearly has a heart attack as he rips his wig off. "I will return!"

Alan Riddle marches off with Kris Wolf before…..

"MAAAAAALLLLLLIIIIICE! HIT! MY! MUSIC!"

Suddenly Hail to the King by Avenged Sevenfold plays as Azriel appears with Malice right next to him.

"Sofia, it is I, your future husband to your best friend." Azriel said.

"Me and Malice aren't best friends." Sofia Reynoso said.

"I believe he meant Alexis." Malice said.

"Malice! Shut up! I need an invitation to Alexis's party. My betrothed forgot to give me an invite." Azriel said

"No she didn't. She wasn't inviting you on purpose." Sofia said.

"Why not? Is it because I'm a party animal?" Azriel asked.

"No. She just doesn't like you." Sofia said.

"She's playing hard to get." Azriel said.

"No, she is playing, don't shoot the giant doofus." Sofia said.

"MALICE, isn't that tall." Azriel said.

"Um, Miss Reynoso, may we buy an invite?" Malice asked.

"No." Sofia said.

"How about Malice pays you to buy the right to buy an invite." Azriel said.

"N…" Sofia pauses as a devil version of her appears on her shoulders.

"You could make twice the money." Devil Sofia said, before an Angel Sofia appeared on her opposite shoulder.

"Wait Sofia…. Charge him a regular price to buy the right to buy the invitation. And then twice the amount to buy the actual invitation." The Angel Sofia said.

"You know…. Doing the right thing is hard sometimes, but I have to do it." Sofia Reynoso said, before the angel and devil disappear. "Okay Azriel, I'll let you pay me so you can buy the invitation for a hundred dollars. But the invitation is two hundred dollars."

"It is a deal." Azriel said. "Malice, wire her the money on your Cashme app."

"Yes my lord." Malice said, before taking her phone out. "There."

"It was a pleasure doing business with you morons." Sofia said, handing Azriel the invitation.

"MAAAALLLLLIIIICE! GET ME MY CORSAGE! WE ARE GOING TO THE BIG DANCE TONIGHT!" Azriel said

* * *

"What do you mean, this is a fake invitation." Azriel shouts, wearing a Corsage on his wristas he is being carried out of Alexis's house by The Big Show in a Rey Mysterio mask…. . The security toss him into a dumpster where Freddy Escobar and Chris Wolf are.

"I can't believe that Rey Mysterio has been called the smallest man in wrestling and is almost as tall as me. I could never be a wrestler." Azriel said.

"That was Big Show." Freddy said.

"Did you not see the mask?! What kind of Mexican are you?!" Azriel yells.

"So um… did you guys get uninvited too" Chris Wolf asked.

"Who are you?" Azriel asked.

"I'm Chris." Chris Wolf said.

"Jericho?" Azriel asked.

"No." Chris Wolf said.

"Brown." Azriel asked.

"Oh god no." Chris Wolf said.

"Yeah, Rihanna could beat you up. Wolf?" Azriel asked.

"Yes!" Chris Wolf said.

"That is a lie! You're ugly!" Azriel said.

"Listen guys, I don't know about you two, but I'm not going to just sit here and be the loser who wasn't invited. I'm inviting myself." Freddy said.

"You know what…. So am I." Chris Wolf said.

"I was already invited as I have a real invitation." Azriel shows the two his invitation. Chris Wolf reads it.

"It says fake invitation right there." Chris Wolf said, before Azriel looks at it.

"Why is this a paper that says fake invitation and fuck you Azriel in sharpie? MAAAAALLLLIIIICE! WHAT DID YOU BUY?!" Azriel yells.

We cut to Malice sitting on the couch with a cup in his hand, not talking to anyone as a large group of people party around him including Chris Jericho standing on the coffee table with a unplugged microphone and his dad bod on display.

"Sandpaper!" sings Jericho poorly, as Alexis Espinoza walks up to Malice.

"Malice, why are you just sitting here?" Alexis asked, over loud music (Not Jericho).

"I am enjoying the party from a seated position." Malice said.

"Do you want to dance?" Alexis offers.

"Oh…. do you know the chicken one?" Malice asked.

"Nevermind." Alexis Espinoza walks away.

"Have a nice evening." Malice said, before sighing.

"Smooth move." Jason Sabre said, randomly appearing next to Malice.

"How did you get here?" Malice said.

"Uber. I don't drink and drive…. Or drive in general. I don't have a license." Jason Sabre said. "Listen Malice, have you tried not being a socially awkward nerd?"

"No, I have not. How is it?" Malice asked.

"It's great. Listen, Azriel isn't here, so how about I help you get laid." Jason said.

"I don't know if I'm ready for such a commitment." Malice said.

"Dude, it's sex, not marriage. There's no commitment, just penis in vagina action. Or in the backdoor. Or in the mouth. Or in-" Jason said.

"I get it, Mr. Sabre." Malice said.

"Great. Now let's get you a notch in your belt." Jason said.

"I'm not wearing a belt." Malice said.

"That'll save you time later." Jason said

* * *

**Sierra**

**Hotel**

**India**

**Lima**

**Delta**

**SHIELD!**

Azriel wears a bullet proof vest and cargo pants that don't fit, Freddy Escobar with a streak of fake blond hair taped to his head and Chris Wolf in a black turtleneck and Black underwear that says 'Mox' on the back in duct tape, walk in slow motion up to the front door of Alexis's mansion where the Big Show in a Rey Mysterio mask is.

Chris Wolf runs at him….straight into a WMD. Freddy runs at him and is caught by the throat and chokeslammed.

"OOOOOOOAAAAAA!" Azriel shouts before going for a Spear, only to trip on his shoelaces and fall flat on his face.

Big Show then picks all three up and drags them to the dumpster and throws them again.

"You were supposed to make me look strong!" Azriel yells after Big Show while he walks away.

"Hey guys…. I think my moms going to be mad that I got her turtleneck dirty." Chris Wolf said.

"Dude…. Where's your pants?" Freddy asked.

"I took them off, because I wanted to dress like Jon Moxley." Chris Wolf said.

"He didn't wear that when he was in the Shield." Freddy said.

"Listen I was compromising. I wore the fake Dean Ambrose turtleneck and the good Moxley trunks." Chris Wolf said.

"This guy doesn't fuck." Azriel points at Chris, before getting out of the dumpster with Freddy following in suit. Chris gets out as well. Suddenly a figure appears.

"Oh no…." Freddy said.

"Hello gentlemen." Alan Riddle said. "I am Mr. Riddle, your home economics teacher and as I can tell, you guys are also not at the party where all the drug usage and underage sexual activity is happening." Alan said.

"Pretty much." Freddy said.

"So how about we all get revenge." Alan Riddle said.

"For once, I'm listening to you Alan." Azriel states.

"I'm still a teacher. Call me please." Alan said.

"Alan." Azriel repeats, causing Alan to groan.

"Listen, Alan, what is your idea?" Freddy asked.

"Hear me out, let's kidnap Jason Sabre." Alan Riddle said.

"Why?" Freddy said.

"Is it because he's sexy?" Azriel asked.

"Excuse me." Chris Wolf said, looking at Azriel who then gave him a big boot, out of nowhere.

"Um, it's Alexis's party. Why would we kidnap Jason?" Freddy Said

"Because he's my mortal enemy." Alan Riddle said

"EXCUSE ME!" Azriel said, before grasping him by the throat and lifting him in the air, before hitting a chokeslam on Alan Riddle. "HE'S MIIIIIIINNNNNE!"

Azriel then starts to walk away as Freddy is the only one standing.

"Where are you going?" Freddy shouts after him.

"I don't need you! I am the Ringo! I am the Mongo McMichael! I am the Mark Jindrak! I'm going solo!" Azriel said, before pulling out his phone and calling someone. "MMMAAAAALLLLLIIIIIICE! PLAY MY MUSIC FOR BEING A LONER."

A few seconds later, Malice runs out to them with his phone.

**This television has a poison on its breath**

**This counter culture of both wicked lives and death**

**It makes my eyes bleed every time I turn around**

**How will they all feel when I bring them to the ground?**

**And I said**

**I walk for miles inside this pit of danger**

**A place where no one follows me, I walk alone**

Azriel slowly walks into the streets.

"If he wasn't average Azriel, he would be so cool right now." Freddy said, before a car stops in front of Azriel on the street and starts honking.

"Hey! Get out of the road!" Dave Batista shouts, sticking his head out of the car. Azriel just looks at him and gives him the thumbs up, before giving him the thumbs down and walking away. "These goddamn marks."

Batista drives away

* * *

"Okay, Malice, just do what I told you." Jason said, looking at him.

"Jason, this is wrong." Malice said.

"I'm sure you'll be fine." Jason Sabre said, before pushing Malice forward, right into Kailene Starr.

"Ow. What's wrong with you?" Kailene said.

"Um… Uh…. boner!" Malice gets nervous. "Dammit!"

Malice looks around until he spots Jason, who gives him the thumbs up. Malice takes a deep breath.

"Oh right. I'm sorry Kailene. I…" Malice then pulls out a small cue card with Jason's face on the back. "Tripped head over heels when I saw you."

At this point Detrick comes up from behind Jason.

"Hey, what's Malice doing with my girl?" Detrick said.

"Don't worry. He's just getting practice asking out actual girls. You know, unlike her." Jason said.

"Oh, that's nice of you man." Detrick said.

"Thanks. I love helping people with special needs such as lack of romantic ability." Jason Sabre said.

We go back to Malice and Kailene, where Malice is holding another cue card.

"So how have you heard of my penis? It's huge! Especially in Japan." Malice said.

"That is gross." Kailene said, before Malice quickly throws that to the side.

"Do you shave your legs? Because I like Europe, but not that much." Malice said.

"That's offensive to an entire Continent." Kailene said, before he flips to another cue card

"Um….My balls go deep." Malice said, before Kailene slaps him.

"You're disgusting." Kailene said, before Jason appears and hands Malice another cue card to read and then just leaves.

"Well…. You….. are a Karen!" Malice as Jason is cracking up behind him with Detrick as the entire party stops, including the music.

"What did you call me?" Kailene said.

"A…. Karen. It is a name." Malice tries to explain, not understanding the connotation. Seconds later, he's on the floor knocked out

* * *

Malice is seen icing his jaw when Jessie Faraday walks up to him.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jessie asked.

"Um…. yeah…. I am." Malice said before Jessie sits next to him. In the background Jason Sabre can be seen smirking.

"I love it when a plan comes together." Jason says to Detrick.

"What do you mean?" Detrick asked.

"Oh, I wanted to have some fun and get Malice some attention from a girl. So I had Malice aggravate your boring ass Vanilla ice cream cone of a girlfriend until she finally broke. Which happened and led to Malice getting punched. Now Malice doesn't have charisma, so he can't get a girl with charm. But he can get it through sympathy as you can see." Jason Sabre said, pointing to Jessie getting cozy with Malice.

"Why did you help him?" Detrick said.

"Like I said, I help people with Special Needs." Jason said. "Such as the special need of being Azriel's servant since Kindergarten."

"MAAAAAALLLLLLIIIIIIICE!"

"Oh no…. Not now." Malice said as he sits next to Jessie.

"PLAY MY MUSIC!"

Suddenly Malice stands up, looking at Jessie.

"I'm sorry!" Malice pulls out the phone and plays Hail to the King as Azriel bursts into the house in a jeep. Everyone gets out of the way to avoid it

"THIS IS MY PARTY NOW" Azriel yells, driving the jeep.

"Azriel! Stop!" Alexis yells from the top of the staircase down at him.

"I CAN'T! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!" Azriel then crashes into a wall.

"Well that's one way to hit the breaks." Detrick said.

"Hey, isn't that Alan Riddle's car?" Jason Sabre said, before Alan Riddle walked into the house, through the hole.

"MY JEEP!" Alan Riddle drops to his knees crying as officer Asher Darma approaches, writes a ticket and hands it to him.

"Shame on you for pooping on a party." Asher Darma wags his finger, before walking away.

"Well…. Alan's life still sucks, Azriel failed, Malice would still pick Azriel over a girl, Kailene is a bitch, and I'm still Jason Sabre." Jason said.

"So nothing has changed." Detrick said.

"Especially the Kailene part." Jason jokes, before Freddy runs into the room.

"Guys, don't worry, the party can start. I am here!" Freddy said, before CJ Hawk throws a remote at him.

"Boo! You Stink!" CJ Said

"I didn't even sing yet." Freddy Escobar said.

"Oh…. you still stink." CJ Hawk said

"I got thrown into a dumpster two times." Freddy said….. Before hearing sirens.

"Shit! Everyone out!" Alexis yells as everyone flees except a crying Alan Riddle. Malice is seen dragging Azriel out of the jeep and carrying his body outside.

* * *

Jason Sabre walks into a homeroom on Monday as Chris Jericho is seen sleeping on his desk.

"Good news guys, Alan Riddle was arrested!" Jason announces to a big pop. Jericho is clapping in his sleep. Then Alan Riddle walks in to huge boos.

"I'm back kiddos!" Alan announces to big heat

"AW….. FUCK THIS SHIT! I'M OUT"

Jason Sabre leaves giving Riddle the double bird on his way out.


	7. 6: McDonalds

"MAAAAALLLLLIIIIICE!" Yells Azriel as Malice sits up in his bed, removing his sleepmask, which has Azriel sitting on a throne on it. Malice takes a deep breath before getting out of bed to walk over to a window. He opens it and looks out

"Yes My-" Malice is then hit in the face with a rock, causing him to fall back onto the ground.

"MALLLLLIIIIICE! GET UP YOU COWARD! I AM ABOUT TO BE EMPLOYED BY RONALD OF MCDONALDS AND DEMAND THAT YOU GET YOUR CRACKWHORE MOTHER TO GIVE ME A RIDE!" Azriel yells, while Malice stands up, now having a bloody nose from the rock being thrown at him.

"My mother is at work, lord." Malice said.

"THEN YOU GIVE ME A RIDE, YOU DOOOOOOOPPPPPE!" Azriel said

We then cut to Azriel sitting on Malice's bike handles as Malice struggles to peddle.

"My lord. Are you sure you don't want to stand on my pegs?" Malice asked

"I don't believe in pegging. You are a pervert. This is why you are going to be lonely forever unlike me, a social butterfly of destruction." Azriel said, before Jason Sabre rides up, right next to them on a Skateboard. "WHY ARE YOU HERE AND WHY DO YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING?!"

"I got an interview at McDonalds." Jason Sabre said.

"So do I…. wait a minute…. Are you my competition?" Azriel asked

"Duh." Jason Sabre said, before pushing Azriel off Malice's handlebars and speeding off. Azriel falls into the grass and randomly rolls down a grass hill

"MAAAALLLLLIIIIICE!" Yells Azriel as he rolls down the hill, getting quieter and quieter.

"Oh no…. I'm going to have to wash his clothes." Malice said as he stopped. "I knew I should've sprung for the two pack of detergent."

* * *

**(Sandpaper by Fozzy) **

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(The video opens to everyone standing very seriously in front of the school, except Asher Darma, who is smiling. He didn't get the memo.)

Sandpaper tears at my skin, grinding the state I'm in

(It shows Azriel grinding….meat at a butcher's shop as Asher Darma watches in horror.)

Millstone my heart it scrapes, grabbing the soul that bleeds within

(It cuts to Jason Sabre giving a flower to an Kailene as Detrick watches confused)

Abrasive wounds that never heal, bleeding emotions are hard to feel

(La Rebelion are shown trying to sell crack to Azriel.)

Evasive sounds of true bliss calling

(It then cuts to Sofia chasing MAAALICE down the hall with a gun)

Mauling your paramour's kiss revealed

(It then shows Chris and Scarlet going in for a kiss, but Asher Darma puts a barbed wire baseball bat, where did he get that, in between them and writes them tickets.)

Something happens when the dark meets the light

(Next, it shows The Ruffians and Yul Bannock smoking the good shit while Asher Darma sprays febreeze)

Something happens when you start up the fight

(It then cuts to a terrified Freddy Escobar and a confident Sofia Reynoso getting ready to fight)

Something happens when the sun turns to grey

(The fight is revealed to be a Rock, Paper, Scissors match. Sofia wins.)

Something happens when you scare the monsters away

(Azriel tries to hand Alexis flowers, but there is a bee in the flowers and it stings Azriel in the face.)

A cat-scratch, a whiplash, a witch hunt in black, Sandpaper

(It cuts finally to the yearbook photo session with Jason in the middle and Azriel is trying his hardest to get in front of Jason. Asher Darma is still smiling while everyone else is watching the fight. Still hasn't gotten a memo. Then it cuts to Phoenix holding a sign that says 'WFA High School…. sorry')

* * *

"Where's Jason?" Detrick asked Kailene in class.

"I don't care." Kailene said back to him, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

"Everyone else does." Detrick says, jerking his thumb back to reveal that people are holding a candlelight vigil for Jason Sabre in the back of the classroom as Chris Jericho is sleeping in class again.

"He was the original Morty." Mason Rivers said, before everyone looks at him. "What? You know… from… Rick and Morty…."

Everyone stays quiet giving him a death stare.

"It's a great show, I swear. I mean… you have to have a high IQ to understand it…."

"EXCUSE ME!" Everyone shouts at him, scaring the life out of him.

"No, listen. It's really good. I swear it was a compliment." Mason said, before Sofia walks into frame, right in front of all the action.

"Let this be a lesson to everyone watching. Don't compare a dead human to a cartoon character during their vigil." Sofia said.

We then cut to the entire class throwing Mason Rivers into a dumpster, before walking away. Mason sticks his head out of the dumpster, only for CJ Hawk to walk back and throw a tomato at him.

"BOOO…. YOU STINK!" CJ Hawk said "Literally."

* * *

Jason Sabre is casually sliding down the slide at the McDonalds Playground. Once he reaches the end of the slide, he sees Azriel standing over him, covered in grass.

"Why are you late for the interview?" Jason Sabre asked.

"YOU PUSHED ME OFF THE BIKE WITH YOUR SUPERMAN ESQUE STRENGTH!" Azriel yells.

"Listen Average, I was giving you a good luck pat on the shoulder." Jason Sabre said.

"You slapped my arm, not my shoulder." Azriel said.

"I only passed anatomy because I fucked the teacher." Jason Sabre shrugs.

"That lucky bitch." Azriel said

"What was that?" Jason asked.

"I said, you lucky bastard." Azriel said.

"She was alright. I wonder what happened to her…"

We cut to the former manager of hooters sitting next to another hot blonde lady in a jail cell.

"Jason?" The girl asked

"Yeah." The former manager said.

"Was it worth it?"

"Yeah." She replies

We cut back to Jason Sabre and Azriel walking to the managers office.

"I'll go first." Jason said.

"No I will go first." Azriel said

"No, I will go second." Jason said

"No, I WILL GO SECOND." Azriel said

"Alright, have it your way. I'll go first." Jason said, before walking into the office.

"I showed him. One point for the AZZ Man." Azriel pats himself on the back, before Malice walks up to him.

"My lord, I believe you have been duped by Jason again." Malice said.

"WHAT?!" Azriel said, before trying to open the door to the office only to find out that the doorknob is locked. "MAAAAAALLLLLIIIICE! OPEN THE DOOR!"

Malice looks at the door.

"Open sesame." Malice said. Azriel just looks at him.

"Is it open?" Azriel asked.

"Probably not." Malice said.

"You are more useless that Asher Darma in a burger eating contest." Azriel said, before walking away.

* * *

Everyone stands around in home economics class.

"Man, the substitute better get here before my bread get flat." Detrick said, holding his pan of bread. "I don't want it to be like Kailenes chest."

"Isn't that your girlfriend?" Natalia asked.

"Yeah, of course." Detrick said. "You know, since you cheated on me."

"I didn't cheat on you. I beat you in Basketball." Natalia said.

"No you didn't! It was because Freddy gave me Jordens instead of Jordans." Detrick said.

"I said I was sorry." Freddy said. "And besides, my make up gift was great."

"Stealing moms make up and giving it to me is not a proper make up gift." Detrick said.

"But your complexion looks great now." Freddy said.

"You're wearing makeup?" Asked Natalia.

"I have a photoshoot afterschool. I'm going to model for Rite Aid products." Detrick smiles.

Suddenly the door opens as everyone quiets down in anticipation. Suddenly a man on a moped enters the room. He wore a sweater. His hair swept to the side. His sweatpants were top tier dadlike. Freddy and Detrick look at each other.

"STEVE!" Both shout as Stepdad Steve parks his Moped in the middle of class and gets off.

"Hi-dee ho kiddo's." Steve winks, giving them the thumbs up.

"You're not a substitute teacher." Freddy said.

"Yeah, where's your degree." Detrick said.

"Don't worry step children. I just graduated." Steve shows off his diploma.

"Does that say La Rebelion university?" Natalia reads.

"Yes, I met these nice young Latino youths who offered a chance to help the future of America. After listening to their beautiful speech, I was inspired to pursue this. And all it cost me was one hundred thousand dollars." Steve said.

"Where did you get six figures?" Detrick asked

"Oh, I found the Nintendo 64 that Freddy doesn't play with and sold it to a nice man." Steve said.

"Wait…. I JUST BOUGHT WWF NO MERCY STEVE!" Freddy shouts

"How have you just bought a game from twenty years ago?" asked Chris Wolf.

"Stay out of this." Freddy points a finger at him threateningly, causing Chris to back up.

"Whoa, whoa whoa. Come on Freddy. We used to be in the Shield together." Chris said.

"Freddy, do not point your finger at Kris Wolf's little brother." Steve said.

"We don't need to mention her." Chris said.

"This is bullshit." Freddy pouts.

"Who bought a Nintendo 64 for a Hundred Grand?" Detrick questions

We cut to Average Azriel opening a present.

"MOOOOOOMMM! I TOLD YOU I WANTED A PS5!" Azriel shouts.

"This had 64 at the end. It has to be better." Azriel's mom said

"STUUUUUPIIID BIIIIITCH!" Azriel shouts.

"Oh, you're so funny Braxton." She pats his head.

"MY NAME IS AZRIEL! KING OF DESPAIR! RULER OF SEVERAL REALMS!" Azriel shouts

* * *

Jason Sabre smirks at the locked door, listening to Azriel pound the door with his fist. Jason then turns around to face the manager only to see….

"Wait aren't you olympic gold medalist and multi-time World Champion, Kurt Angle?" Jason Sabre asked.

"Oh, it's true, It darn true." Kurt Angle said.

"You mean Damn true." Jason said.'

"I don't curse in front of children. I have to be a good example." Kurt Angle said.

"Weren't you on drugs for a while?" Jason said.

"No that was Perc Angle, my distant cousin." Kurt said. "Now please sit down."

"Got it boss." Jason said, sitting down in the chair.

"Alright, first question, What is your name?" Kurt Asked.

"Jason a bunch of middle names from different ethnic backgrounds Sabre." Jason said. "That's the short form."

"Alright, and you are still in High School right?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah. My teachers suck except Kris Wolf." Jason said.

"I hate that guy. He tried to apply last week and I caught him trying to put fries in his pants. The only reason I caught him was because they were fresh and burned his pee pee." Kurt Angle said

"I meant his sister." Jason said.

"Oh Kris Wolf. She was a model employee. How are those two related?" Kurt asked.

"I say the same thing about you and Perc, Kurt." Jason said, causing Angle to chuckle.

"I like you Jason. I don't think we need to continue this interview at all." Kurt said, before reaching into the drawer and pulls something out. "Please take this free 20 pack of McNuggets."

"I mean…. If I have to." Jason accepts the nuggets and walks out. "You're up Billy."

"My name is Azriel." Azriel said.

"I thought you were the ass man." Jason said.

"No, I'm the AZZ Man." Azriel said.

"Oh…. you're an ASS…. man." Jason said.

"No, with a Z, not an S. MAAAAALLLLIIICE! Teach this sexy Ace some spelling." Azriel said.

"Um, lord, ass is spelled with two 's''s not Z." Malice said.

"I am very close to firing you and you have no college degree to fall back on." Azriel said.

"I'm still in High School, my lord." Malice said.

"THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!" Azriel yells

* * *

Stepdad Steve has everyone sitting around in a circle while he plays an acoustic guitar for the class. Freddy and Detrick are the only ones standing in the back of the class, embarrassed. "I made up this song myself. I hope you all enjoy." Steve smiles at everyone before playing the guitar to the beat of _You've Got A Friend In Me. _

**You've got a dad in me**

**You've got a dad in me**

**When the road looks tough ahead**

**And you're miles and miles from your nice warm race car bed**

"I WAS TWELVE!" Freddy yells.

"I can't believe Sparkplug Bob Holly was cool to you back then." Detrick said

"He had a race car. It went fast." Freddy said

**You just remember what your old dad said**

**Boy and girl, you've got a dad in me**

**Yeah, you've got a dad in me**

"Finally someone who wants to be my dad." Chris said, smiling happily

"He's just being nice." Detrick responds to Chris.

**You've got a dad in me**

**You've got a dad in me**

**You got stomach bubbles, and I got 'em too**

**There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you**

**We stick together just like Freddy's hands after crazy glue**

**'Cause you've got a dad in me**

**You've got a dad in me**

"Wait...I can explain…" Freddy tries to explain himself.

"He thought it was mayonnaise." Detrick informs.

"Do you just stick your hand into mayo?" CJ asks.

"...it was for my hair. Look it up." Freddy responds.

**Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than you**

**Bigger and stronger too**

He points at Detrick Cyrus, winking at him.

**But none of them will ever love you the way I do**

**It's me and you, kid**

"Everyone now!" Steve said as everyone but Freddy and Detrick who stand in the back of the classroom with their arms crossed, upset.

**And as the years go by**

**Our Family will never die**

**You're gonna see it's our destiny**

**You've got a dad in me**

**You've got a dad in me**

**You've got a dad in me**

Everyone claps except his stepsons, who look annoyed. Suddenly CJ Hawk stands up and walks up to him.

"Woo! You Rock!" CJ Hawk said, before throwing flowers at him. Steve bows as Sofia is seen selling CD's with Steve's face on them.

"Buy Stepdad Steve's album here. Spotify doesn't even have it yet, so you have to buy it from me." Sofia said.

"This is ridiculous." Detrick groans.

"I'll never play No Mercy." Freddy moans.

"Why is that still your biggest problem!" Detrick asked.

"I heard it was a good game." Freddy shrugs.

* * *

"So, young man, what's your name?" Kurt Angle asks Azriel.

"I am known by many names in many realms. Some call me the King of Despair. Some shake in fear at the sound of my name as the hellhound. I have been hailed as the Satan of the Seven demons of the underworld-"

"I asked for your legal name." Kurt asked, growing tired of him already.

"My first name is King Azriel." Azriel said

"You have two first names?" Kurt Angle asked.

"Yes." Azriel said

"What's your last name?" Kurt Asked.

"I don't believe in last anythings. I'm always first. If you want last, go and get Jason. He always finishes last. At least according to our hot sixth grade elementary school teacher." Azriel said.

"Right…. So do you have the three I's needed to work at McDonalds?" Kurt said

"I have two eyes." Azriel said

"No, I'm talking about Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence." Kurt said.

"That's not three eyes. That's three words." Azriel said, causing Kurt to groan.

"Okay…. So why do you want to work at McDonalds?" Kurt asked.

"I want free toys and I also need more Barbecue sauce in my fridge." Azriel said.

"You can't steal from work."

"Says who?" Azriel asked

"Me! The manager!" Kurt Angle said.

"Wait, you're the manager?!" Azriel said.

"Yes." Kurt said.

"Then what job am I interviewing for?" Azriel said

"Cashier." Kurt Angle said

"Can I take money out of the register for my schemes and evil plans." Azriel asked

"NO!" Kurt said.

"Can I get free ice cream?" Azriel said

"No, the Ice Cream machine is broken." Kurt Angle said

"Oh right, this is McDonalds. Can you fix it?" Azriel said.

"Do I look like Maintenance to you?" Kurt asked

"You look like a bald man without a neck." Azriel said.

"Get out." Kurt Angle said.

"I will see you at work tomorrow." Azriel said.

"No you won't." Kurt Angle said.

"Are you quitting so I can become manager?" Azriel said.

"NO!" Angle shouts getting angry

"You know, you shouldn't raise your voice. This is why they are interviewing people to replace you." Azriel said.

"I won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck and I have to deal with this." Angle talks to himself.

"Well I won a game of Call of Duty with a perfectly fine neck and I have to deal with this." Azriel said.

"Are you kidding me?" Kurt asked.

"I'm an American Villain hero." Azriel said. "If you look at my resume I put myself down as a war veteran. I was only killed seventeen times during service."

"Get out!" Kurt shouts even louder. Azriel gets up.

"You have no respect for Veterans." Azriel said, before leaving

* * *

Stepdad Steve walks onto a stage, a roaring crowd before him. Thousands, hundreds, tens, or maybe about seven people scream his name. Chris Jericho is in the back row sleeping as Freddy and Detrick stand beside him, annoyed.

"This is bullshit!" Detrick yells.

"I know! This is bigger than my audience when I debuted my new hair!" Freddy responds, though he is wearing a The Rebellion bandana. As he says this, Eddy Escargo from AFW walks by with his majestic mohawk. "Damn, that's a nice mohawk. It would look better on me though." Freddy says, oblivious to his own stupidity.

"At least Jason's not here." Kailene said, entering the room.

"He's dead Kailene. That's kinda mean." Freddy said.

"He's not dead mon." Yul Bannok yells as he gets crowd surfed.

"This party is too, as the kids say, lit. I might have to shut it down." Undercover Alan Riddle said wearing a T-Shirt of Jason Sabre and a beanie with a big fuzzy ball at the top while wearing legging that have booty shorts over them. All while holding a skateboard.

"Mr. Riddle, I thought you were the absent!" Asher Darma said.

"No, I'm not Alan. I'm Darby Allin. I like to Ride and I'm also an alternative. How about the Fray guys? Sick band, am I right?" Alan said.

"No you are the Mr. Riddle." Asher said. "You even smell like the Midlife crisis."

Stepdad Steve approaches the mic. "Children, as much as I have enjoyed the ups and downs of the rockstar lifestyle, I'm not as young as I was this morning when I walked into your lives for the first time. Now, I want to give back to you. So, I have accepted the counselor position!" Steve announces to a huge pop as Freddy and Detrick boo loudly.

"Well it could be worse." Kailene said, before Jason Sabre walked into the room.

"I'm back you walking pancake." Jason said, looking right at Kailene as everyone explodes into cheers.

"I wish you stayed dead." Kailene said.

"I bet you wished for a better chest too. But just like with this wish, it didn't come true." He smirks at her.

"Detrick!" Kailene said.

"Don't worry. I got this. Jason…. Kailene is a late bloomer. I'm sure in ten years-"

"JUST SHUT UP!" Kailene said.

"I was helping…." Detrick said. "This is why I don't stand up for you usually."

"I'm sure we'll follow up on this beautiful relationship next week." Sofia Reynoso walks across while eating popcorn.

* * *

It was a peaceful day at McDonalds

"MAAAAALLLLIIIIIICCCCE! PLAY! MY! MUSIC!" Azriel shouts, before Malice walks into the restaurant and starts playing Hail to the King by Avenged Sevenfold as Azriel walks in wearing a yellow jumpsuit with large red shoes. His face was painted white and red. His hair was covered by a red wig. This man has dressed like Ronald McDonald.

"Azriel, I told you that you're not employed." Kurt Angle shouts at him

"I am not Azriel! I am only a quarter of a badass that he is. I am Ronald Reagan. The owner of the McDonalds. I demand that you hire Azriel as he is a great employee." Azriel said.

"No!" Kurt Angle said.

"If you don't. I will fire you." Azriel said.

"Azriel, Ronald McDonald- not Reagan- is just a mascot." Kurt Angle said.

"That's a lie. I am right in front of you and clearly a man of authority." Azriel said.

"You're a clown." Kurt Angle said.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Kurt." Jason Sabre said stepping in. "Are you being racist against clowns?"

"What?" Kurt asked.

"I'm actually part class clown. I think it's from the parents I don't have." Jason said. "I should report you to Human resources."

"What is that?" Azriel said.

"Shut up." Jason whispers.

"Hey, let's not get to hasty here Jason." Kurt Angle said.

"I want you to hire Azriel or I'm going to report this." Jason said.

"Then I'm going to have to fire someone." Kurt Angle said.

"Fire him." Jason Sabre points to someone behind Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle turns around as Azriel looks over.

"Malice you're fired!" Kurt said.

"He doesn't work here." Azriel whispers to Jason.

"Shut up, he doesn't know that." Jason whispers back.

"I don't-" Malice said before Jason starts pushing him away.

"Get the hell out of here! We don't want you!" Jason pushes him out the door.

"But, I don't-" Malice said, before Jason slams the door into his face, causing his nose to bleed again. Azriel walks up to him.

"Why would you help me? Are you in love with me?" Azriel asked

"No chance in hell. Anyways, I just want you here so I have someone who looks worse than me by comparison when I don't do work." Jason said.

"That's evil." Azriel said. "I love it."

"Thanks." Jason said, before handing him a toothbrush "Now go clean the toilets."

"Don't you have a brush?" Azriel asked

"That's for people with tenure…. Like me." Jason said, walking away. This leaves Azriel standing with a toothbrush.

"MAAAALLLLIIIICE! CLEAN THE TOILETS!" Azriel shouts

"But I just got fired." Malice said from outside.

"YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET FIRED AGAIN IF YOU DON'T DO IT." Azriel said

"Yes my lord." Malice gives in.


End file.
